He wants..I want

[bri427]

Me and my ex fiance broke up in January, after a lil over a year of bein together. Our relation ship was rocky and we managed to overcomne alot of obstacles, always bringing us closer together. I messed up and once we tried fixing it a month later it was kinda just evident we needed to aprt ways, so he left me.

 

Curently has been dating a new girl (3 days after BU). No he didnt leave me JUST for her, it was kinda neccassary since we were gonna be 2 1/2 hours away now and couldnt let go of our past issues....now that 5 months have passed, between fighting so much and tryin to find a happy balance. for the first time since BU we have been more open/honest and gettin along better. even has been tlk of tryin things out again in the future. BUT it messes wit my head. i now finally have my sh*t together and yes i still love him and we get along fine, even wit him being wit someone else.

 

HE WANTS... to tlk every week once or twice. his reasons being that he enjoys talking wit me and im the only one he feels that comfortable wit and can tlk wit like the way he does. wants me to stay single (i have been and celibate) cuz he feels we will have another chance at "us" again.

 

i sometimes back out of this little arrangemnt for fear of fallin for him again as bad as i was and it gettin all complicated. basically im tryin to protect myself from being hurt from him. but he hates when i do this and says i jus always mess stuff up for us when were doin good.

 

so my questions are...has any of u been in this situation? am i being too irrational? should i listen more to what he wants instead of backing out all the time? any advice is welcomed....thx

[Clarity]

So let me get this right. He's in a relationship with another girl, presumably they kiss, are intimate - who knows what they do (despite what he may tell you) and yet he asks that you don't see anyone and remain celibate?!

 

You cannot let him have his cake and eat it too. If he wants to be with you, there you are, you are available. If he can't be with you, for whatever reason, and is seeing someone else, then you owe him nothing and I urge you to date as well.

 

If he really thought you guys had another chance, why would he be with someone else? You deserve better treatment.

 

If you continue this course, you are setting yourself up to be used and for some major heartbreak.

[loulou37]

i would cut him off!! what sort of game is he playing? he's with some one else now, tell him go be with her and talk to her bout his stuff... i tell you if it was me i would tell him where to go....

 

also wants you to stay single! he don't want to be with you, but he don't want anyone else with you!

 

move on.

[bri427]

yeah i agree with post ure statements. i actually agreed with our break up after sometime. neither of us like bein single and we both knew we werent gonna be around eachother for awhile...so him being younger (18) and me older (20) i decided he was right to date someone more his age group. hard part is....we both would like to try again when its more easier for us. like when we can actually see eachother more and both have our stuff straightened out. i dont mind the single thing now actually...and the fact he is with her aint an issue for me anymore. haha i dont really DO what he asks of me to be honest, my main issue is him and I still talkin. it confuses my heart and mind. i miss him, love him, would like to try again later on...he has agreed to the same feelings. the fact we both know right now is not a good time for "us" is what makes us ok. i just want to find some answers or solutions to what im feeling such as why cant i talk to him as much as he'd like and not have those "feelings", he says he hates when i tlk bout moving on from him and not loving him anymore. he explains to me that his relationship wit her is not what he really wants later on. but till we both find an appropriate time for us again...i dont mind her wit him to be honest. living life without him in it somehow is not an option for me ive come to realize....so whats a better solution? i tlk and see other guys no doubt...but do i still try to befriend the ex?