whatnow23 Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 She broke up with me on thursday and called me last night to say good night and she was crying. She said she missed saying good night to me and missed me overall. I told her not to call me unless she wanted to work things out but she said she doesn't want to get back together she just wants to still talk to me. I am very confused and know I should not be talking to her if she doesn't wanna be with me. It seems like she only still wants to talk to me so that it can be easier on her because I know she is hurting. I know I probably shouldn't but should I still talk to her and try to win her back or should I just stop all contact? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmmd Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 don't talk to her. she's contacting you for her own reasons, not for your sake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 She needs to deal with the consequences of breaking up with you - maintain no contact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loulou37 Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 yea stop all contact, shes leaning on you to support her through the breakup! cheak! dont do it, let her alone for a while to come to terms with her decision,... she made her bed now she can lie in it... after time maybe you can talk and work things out, but its too early Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IGlareOften Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 Agreed. She's using you to console herself. She made the descision, not you. So, she needs to deal with the consequences. It's very selfish. She wants the cake and to eat it. You deserve better than that. NC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onegirl Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 Yes. My ex wants me to make him feel better too. But its no longer my job. There are consequences to behavior and I'm wouldn't be helping him in the long run if I gave in. No contact and keep it. If you need to say something post here on the board in a thread. Dont' respond to her, don't answer her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 She needs to deal with the consequences of breaking up with you - maintain no contact. I agree, I know you might feel bad and might want to help her, but right now you need to worry about yourself. Maintaining no contact is the way to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheetarah Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 Totally agreed. I have done this myself in the past - I broke up with the guy but yet still tried to talk to him to fill up whatever void I had in myself. I wasn't thinking about his feelings because I was too caught up in my own. The best thing he ever did was stop taking my calls. I didn't have him to 'cushion' my fall anymore. Don't be her pillow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatnow23 Posted May 22, 2010 Author Share Posted May 22, 2010 Totally agreed. I have done this myself in the past - I broke up with the guy but yet still tried to talk to him to fill up whatever void I had in myself. I wasn't thinking about his feelings because I was too caught up in my own. The best thing he ever did was stop taking my calls. I didn't have him to 'cushion' my fall anymore. Don't be her pillow. When he did not answer you did you ever feel you wanted to work things out again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheetarah Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 When he did not answer you did you ever feel you wanted to work things out again? What I felt was, and is, irrelevant. Most people do want what they can't have. Human nature, sometimes. And a lot of the time, it has nothing to do with us. I know it hurts, I really do. And it seems cruel to turn your back on someone who is crying out for you. Just remember, it's also cruel to disrespect your wishes, but she doesn't seem to have any qualms about doing that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FootofGod Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 I transitioned to this. At first, I asked her to come down and talk about it with me after a brief text exchange I immediately regretted and cut short bc neither of us were in the frame of mind to talk. Then, I started coming to my senses and reading posts here/ all over the place about how it goes down and told her not to come see me unless it's totally for her, and she still wanted to. At first I was happy, then I thought no. Not for her. Not for me. I don't need answers, I need to move on here and now, and I can't do anything "for her." She called before she was leaving and I told her it was best not to come (which just made her cry, but she needs to learn to live without me if you can't be with me. Maybe she'll miss how supportive I was starting now), I said my peace, which was basically initiating nc, apologizing for falling short, forgiving her, and telling her I'm moving on and she should do the same and be happy... which just made her cry more. I love her to death, but she has to learn, and so do I. Even though I want her back, this is no little mistake she made and I obviously can't be there for her, as much as I want to. But that's what she threw away. How stupid is it that they can expect the person who they say they don't love anymore to be their emotional rock? Go to your new boyfriend, girl! He's apparently a better man than I am, go make him live up to it instead of living in a fantasy world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.