Jump to content

I love my 'best-friend'..


Recommended Posts

I met her more than 2 years ago on Facebook. Let's call her T. We talked and talked some more and got so close and we found out that we have so much in common.


I am 21, and in my family it is very important the girl I marry is from the same religion, nationality, etc.. She fits that criteria, so I automatically put her on the potential long-term list. (Important because most of my exes would most definitely be rejected by my parents)


So we began to grow really close and around the summer of 2008, we began to talk every day for hours. This was the routine up until last summer. Bear in mind, I hadn't met her personally yet.


During that year, not everything was smooth. While we talked for hours each day (including night calls where we'd fall asleep on the phone together), we had a lot of fights mainly because she'd say she had a crush on my cousin (whom she never met either) and of course, since I began to fall for her I used to boil deep down.


So, I met her in summer 2009 and she was just the person I expected her to be, and I was crazy over her but at the same time, she began to fall for my cousin. She knew that I had a thing for her, but she reiterated that she only sees me as a best-friend. I travelled from June-August and while at the airport, I called my cousin and told him to hang out with her, something I was forced to say by her.


I was infuriated and we talked a bit during the summer. I had to go back in September and we talked minimally, and my cousin, knowing that I had a thing for her, respectfully showed no interest in her. They stopped talking despite going out for a few months.


At that point, I really could not stand her. So our routine of daily talks was put to an end and we barely had any conversations. In February, I met and dated this girl, but it was nothing serious. During our dates, I'd actually think of T, and how much I miss her, despite everything.


So, we began talking again recently, and a few days ago we spent the day together. It wasn't a 'date', but I was going crazy over her. She is everything I want in a girl and I really don't think I can find someone as good as her that fits my criteria. She would tell me a long story, and I would just sit there and gaze into her eyes and admire everything about her. She also knows and understands me inside out. She enjoyed that day as much as I did and we're hanging out again on Sunday.


Should I try again?!

Link to comment

Sure, you can try again, but stop putting her on such a high pedestal. She is not perfect, she is not highly interested in you (or you guys would have gotten together much sooner) and temper your expectations with this knowledge. I would play things cool - hang out with her, but pursue other girls as well, because at this point you appear to be the backup-plan.


Also, I think the word "love" in the title should be the word in quotes here. You don't love her - it's not two-way - you are infatuated with the idea of her. You haven't even entered a relationship with her yet.

Link to comment

Coming from a girl's perspective, there is an area known as the 'friend zone'. I had a similar issue. I was best friends with this guy (who ended up liking me) and I didn't return the feelings as I saw him ONLY as a friend.


There is sort of a way to stop this, stop treating this girl like: 1. a godess 2. a guy friend. Even if you distance yourself a little bit. If you talk to her like you do to your other friends, there is a problem (when you want to 'initiate' a relationship realtionship).


Also, I don't know if this is for all girls, but girls like a bit of 'mystery' about a guy or a sort of 'hidden' side. Girls also tend to distance themselves from nice guys, as girls find a holes more mysterious and appealing and they think that they can change them. This doesn't mean calling her names and putting her down, an good example would be; "hey m8k9, do you like my jeans" instead of saying "omG they are awesome and look awesome on you", say something like "yeh, they are nice......I guess, seen better *insert a lol or a


Good luck, and remember this may fail!

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...