is it possible to regain interest?

[alvina]

so i posted another thread on here earlier in which basically i described how me and guy were really good friends, there was definitely something going on between us, i was pretty sure he was attracted to me etc etc but we never spoke about what was going on between us.

 

he kissed me, he freaked out, i told him i liked him, he said he doesnt know how he feels, i played the convincer not too full on but i did a little bit....he resisted..obviously.

 

He said we would and should still be friends, he asked if i wanted some space...i said yes...didnt talk to him for 12 days....then decided actually this no contact thing is not going to work in this situation so contacted him....told him im cool with everything no hard feelings etc etc and we arranged to meet up tomorow.

 

Now i have already come accross as needy and insecure, as we were friends before i have * * * * * ed to him about past boyfriends etc etc, and played the convincer role came on too strong basically all the typical mistakes.

 

Is it possible to regain his interest, i dont mean tomorow and i dont expect him to fall madly in love with me with a wave of a magic wand.

 

But is it possible to show him just a cool calm confident friendly side to me and regain his interest?

 

thanks

[GenoGeno]

I was actually wondering this too...If you decide to take the friend role and just be cool about everything and really just be a genuine person about everything. Could it spark up that initial interest? I am going to say yeah...it could. But it would be interesting to hear what others have to say about it...it's to bad being friends is almost a fight in itself though if you still have a lot of feelings for them. But if you can do it, it could be beneficial!

[FootofGod]

I think the answer is yes and no: if you are legitimately over them, or at least very much so over them and totally not thinking all the thoughts you do, then being friends could rekindle interest, especially if you're there for a hard time where they need someone who's really dependable, and if it doesn't you won't care too much or be hurt, so it's win-win.

 

BUT, this comes with a heavy warning- if you are NOT moved on, you are stepping into a bad spot, and it is evident by asking the question that you have not. You will push, rather you are aware or not, and they will pull away and find a permanent spot for you far below where you intended. This is why no contact is the way to go if you have feelings for them - it sucks, but it's the best method. It's the only method while you're still healing and settling your feelings for them.

[alvina]

i actually think in the situation i was in....no contact would have worked against the whole relationship we had...

 

we were friends with an attraction that came to the surface.....i think we were both aware of the attraction that was between us and how this resulted in certain actions and wanting to spend alot of time together....we were never dating, or had the intention to when we became friends...

 

so thats why i decided limited contact was the best for me.

 

in terms of am i over him....no im not you are right, i also exams and 4 days which is making me feel super vulnerable and i look a complete mess.

 

so maybe seeing him tomorow isnt the best idea.

 

but once i feel more in control of my emotions, is it possible to rekindle interest?

 

NC has worked for me before with an ex who i was with for 2 years, in a way that was easier because the bond had been strong.

 

In this situation we were at some fragile exciting steps of initial attraction, the bond is now reduced or broken and it might be harder trying to fix it...