How do you get over an abusive ex

[glucoze]

ENA

What are your tips on getting over an ex?

I have a bad habbit of running back to an ex that treats me like crap.

 

Yeah... it finally hit me that he never loved me. He loved controlling me, and he got off on the emotional abuse.

 

Im ready to move on and do better but I don't quite know how.

 

My weakness is him coming back out of no where. I resist and then he has to say something really sweet and i fall back in. And then the next week he dumps me and puts me down and just leaves me.

 

Yah call me pathetic but i see all of this now. So isn't also a good thing?

I wonder why i fall for jerks. Something i really want to change

[glucoze]

wow it's dead here.

[FootofGod]

Hey, first of all, sorry you had to be abused - nobody deserves that. And I really mean nobody, I don't care if you were the worst girlfriend in the world (which I doubt).

 

Could you elaborate, just a bit, about his abuse? The reason I ask is typically abusive men are abusive because of being abused (not always true, but I'm trying to gauge you guys and I don't have much to go on). For a lot of them, there isn't even such a thing as changing. They can suppress the urge for a while, but they've grown up that way and it's who they are.

 

You have to get past it the same way you get over any relationship, even one you thought was good - move on, love yourself, and grow as a person. I know that's easier said than done, I'm currently trying to live my words. We're always weak, but I decided that the bill stops with me, and it stops with that. Even when I'm feeling despirate, I repeat to myself what I have to do.

 

When you've started to move on and the awful streams of emotions aren't clouding your judgement, you'll get more comfortable with the reality that he was bad for you. Just bad. You can have a great relationship with most anybody you have some interest in for a while, so pretty much ANYbody is better than this guy, because most of us men aren't abusive and that alone is a quality that surpasses almost everything else. So, like I said, pretty much any guy you could imagine is better. Go find one, have some fun!

[GenoGeno]

Well coming from me (I was abusive to my ex) Not psychically but verbally. I was at a pretty bad point in my life and just took a lot out on her. I never really meant too because I did love her a lot. It kind of just happened and i didn't even know myself why I felt the need to verbally attack her. She left me and when she did I realized...man...I was a jerk. I'd do anything...anything at all to get this girl back. But i guess all I'm trying to say is sometimes we realize we were jerks and would stop if given the second chance and there are some that probably wouldn't. I think you'd need to see if that would ever stop...because you can't be happy and should never have to endure that.