I Broke NC and I don't feel bad

[Little lady]

My ex has been trying to get in touch with me and we were really in love for awhile and then things just started going downhill. I had to send her one last thing and I feel peace with it. I'm not really expecting a reply but I bet she probably will reply. This is what I sent

 

 

"I really appreciate you reaching out to me and letting me know that I can contact you if I need to. The same goes for me, if you really need to talk I will be here. As for contacting each other casually it's just not healthy. I think the only time it will be okay for us to casually talk is if we are both 110% over each other and have no feelings for one another. I will still care about you but we can't keep talking if we both have these feelings. I am completely speaking from my side, as you've stated before you were emotionally over me a long time ago and I wish you had let me known when that time had arisen so I could have stopped trying, even if it did hurt my feelings. Of course you know right now I am healing and I probably will be healing for awhile. I really do wish you the best in everything you do. Please do not call me beautiful or anything else like that it really doesn't help me in this healing process and is the last thing I need to hear coming from you. I will wait until the end of next week to see if I get that comcast check, if not I will mail your half of the deposit on Friday and then mail you that check whenever I get it. If you could just cash it and then send me a money order I guess that would work out.Did you ever leave that Zune charger? I never got it. "

 

 

and that is that! I feel like despite the break-up I've been able to set up some personal goals of mine and I'm actually accomplishing them. Has anyone else here set some goals that they've accomplished or are in the process of accomplishing? Even setting a goal is an accomplishment of itself.

[amipushy]

I thought it was a really good letter until the very last sentence when you left the door wide open for your ex with that ' ? ' Nearly there but not quite.

[Little lady]

Oh with the zune question? I wanted to know if she dropped if off or if someone took it...that's all. But thank you

[sphx26]

lol...It's an close-ended question that leaves room for a yes or no answer. I just hope she doesn't answer and ask another question back.

 

Anyway, about setting accomplishments, yes, I've decided to rise above it all and stop being impulsive! So far, so good... I intend to keep it that way.

[bar35]

Its a great letter. I am glad that you are setting goals for yourself and attaining them. That is extremely important. Following that line will lead you out of the darkness and back into your life. No contact with a person is often quite difficult and painful. It is the separation from an individual that elicits some of our deepest fears, fears of abandonment, of self-worth and personal value, the shattering of hope, the realization that the expectations and dreams we had are no longer possible. Whether you cut contact off completely with someone immediately or whether it takes time, I believe that you will find the pace that is healthiest for you. Yes many behaviors are predictable for people, and when people get back together it is often an obvious mistake for others from the outside, but we all have to go through whatever we have to go through. To learn. To grow. To mature. To gain wisdom and strength. All of these qualities are hard won.

 

I realize that you said that you didn't feel badly after making contact with your ex, but usually the way that it works is the feeling badly comes later, in the emptiness, when there is no echo. As you continue with this journey, take note of the duration of responses and feedback that your heart gives you. If you never feel pain in this time, I am happy for you, but if and when you do, continue to observe what your role was in awakening it, so that you may grow away from those choices.

 

I wish you love, warmth and growth now. May you meet your goals with steadfast determination and find a glowing happiness in your self.

[Little lady]

Wow.

 

Thank you Bar, that was one of the nicest replies I've ever received. I wish you the same

[Live-N-Learn]

= If you never feel pain in this time, I am happy for you, but if and when you do, continue to observe what your role was in awakening it, so that you may grow away from those choices.

{QUOTE]

 

Truer words have not been spoken. I awakened the beast one time, never again! I paid the price.