Tired of the abusive party getting their way

[elizabeth73]

I feel like a bad mother, yet i do everything a good mother should be doing. Yet i have this stupid pedistall for myself and never feel like im doing enough. I need something, but i don't know what it is. I really need to find it, somethings missing. I had it before i met my ex and now in this moment im at a loss. I am generally not a depressed person, and this is why its bothers me so much. I just want to move on from the past , leave it behind, but my ex keeps resurfacing, keeps telling me why i am this horrible person. I wish he would die, get wiped out. He has partial custody of my children, why because i could not prove that he ever hit or was abusive to my children. I could only prove that he was that way to me. He took his anger mangement so now he father of the year, and gets the children in the summer and some holidays. he doesn't pay child support and now after two years of being seperated, he is sueing me, for selling his stuff well he went to jail. ( i had to sell it to help pay off his debt and take care of my boys) I hate him soo much. Everyone tells me it will all work out but the anger inside of me won't go away. He is trying everything in his power to make my life miserable and its working. I am so tired of fighting with him, and know that he wont stop until he has the children full time. I feel like he is winning and i am running out of funds to fight him. i am still paying off debt from the relationship, paying lawyers.........am so close to just giving up. Why do the bad guys always win.......i have to keep fighting because i don't want my boys to turn into wife beaters......but i am sooo tired

[CatsMeeoow]

I understand your exhaustion. You sound like you really need someone to talk to and well a good attorney.

 

I'm not your typical church going kind of person but it may be what you want to look into.

 

Some really big churches offer counseling with fees based off income. They may also provide other services and help you in your situation. Many have women support groups that could provide that needed helping hand and perhaps you meet someone who has been in your shoes and they can provide a sounding board for your issues.

 

I am by no means saying you have to find religion but sometimes when you are under so much stress and drama its nice to have a constant in your life and maybe some valuable resources.

 

Of course you can check with local womans shelters as well but you would be surprised at the level of resources some churches have.

 

HUGS - remember this is for your boys!

[turnera]

Are you in the States? Go to link removed and they will help you fight him and protect your kids.