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is this considered a rebound?


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-both 22 and we dated for 1.5 years

-said I was his "first love"

 

Broke up with me then started dating this 18yrs old girl who's basically my complete opposite within one week of breakup. It's now three months later and they're still in a relationship...

 

Is this a rebound? We've been in LC since the breakup and he's been really friendly and nice, but recently is colder and I feel like their relationship is the cause...

 

On average do rebounds last much longer than this?! Do people even realize they are rebounding?

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would it be a bad idea to write him an email expressing my anger and disappointment towards him?? i feel so mad and hurt that he basically just gave up on us and went to some other girl, and i want him to know he broke my heart. after sending that email i suppose i could never talk to him again... but at least i'd feel closure that he knows how much he hurt me. is this a bad idea??

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My guess would be that he had her "lined up" before breaking up with you, which is cruel, and it does say a lot about his character. Difficult as this is, I would pick myself up, and move on. When you recover, and able to think with a clear head again, you may decide that you don't want him back.

 

Take care...

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Wait...how long had you been broken up before he started dating this other girl? It sounds like a short period of time, but you never stated it. Single time is a very important element in determining a rebound.

 

I wouldn't bother contacting him again, and go NC. You need to heal, forget him, rebuild your life without him, and move on to a happy future. You'll find closure within yourself. He's not able to give it to you, and there's nothing you can say to him will ultimately help you with your processing.

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Wait...how long had you been broken up before he started dating this other girl? It sounds like a short period of time, but you never stated it. Single time is a very important element in determining a rebound.

 

it was within a week after breaking up that they started dating...

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what if he contacts me though, should i say something about me choosing to go NC (since we've sorta already decided we're going to be "friends"). or should i just ignore him (i think that's sorta rude though, no?)

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what if he contacts me though, should i say something about me choosing to go NC (since we've sorta already decided we're going to be "friends"). or should i just ignore him (i think that's sorta rude though, no?)

 

Rude? He broke up with you. Then, he started carrying on with someone else within a week. You owe him NOTHING. I would ignore his calls, texts, emails, etc. If you ask him to stop contacting you, well, that rarely works. What would he have to lose by continuing to contact you? He's already moved on. NC is the best way for you to forget about him and move on. Do what's best for you.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Im also in the same situation as you,my girlfriend of 5 years and 2kids broke up with me after telling her i cheated on her,she held onto me for a few months though after i confessed then suddenly she dumped me,then a week later she got somebody else and they are now together and having sex and showing off on facebook and it hurts me to death,i love her so much and i want her back for the sake of the kids but i just dont recognise the loving person she once was anymore,all i see is a none caring heartless woman who just wants to get drunk and party.

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Im also in the same situation as you,my girlfriend of 5 years and 2kids broke up with me after telling her i cheated on her,she held onto me for a few months though after i confessed then suddenly she dumped me,then a week later she got somebody else and they are now together and having sex and showing off on facebook and it hurts me to death,i love her so much and i want her back for the sake of the kids but i just dont recognise the loving person she once was anymore,all i see is a none caring heartless woman who just wants to get drunk and party.

 

Uh, not to threadjack, but being cheated on will do that to a person. It sounds like you are blaming her for being a different person than the one whose trust you betrayed. Go figure.

 

*Ahem*. Jessie - just go NC. No need to announce it to him. Sounds like he wants to keep you on the back burner rather than let you go so that you can move on and heal. There's no reason to stay in touch with him as it is obviously causing you pain, and there's no reason to care what he thinks of your actions. He's the one that left you and you don't owe him anything.

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  • 3 weeks later...

same exact thing happened to me, but we dated for 2.5 years. She is 21. Got a new boyfriend the next week (well met him and made it "official" 3 weeks later) It hurts so bad. I have just let her be. No emails, no texts...I want to disappear out of her life. If she ever writes me I will have to think long and hard about if I want to open up this can of worms again. I suggest you do the same.

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