How in love are you with your husband/wife?

[abigail]

On a scale of 1-10

 

How much in love are you with you partner?

 

1 ready for divorce and 10 Love of your life of universal proportions.

 

And why?

[Hermes]

I don't wish to be flippant, Abigail, but it goes on a sliding scale.

Some days I could contemplate divorce, happily (lol) , others the scale goes up to 9. I think this could be true of most people/couples.

 

H

[misssmithviii]

10, hands down.

and thankfully he feels exactly the same. Even when we fight we do this thing where (to keep ourselves in check) we'll say something randomly nice haha, it's funny but it works to lighten the mood and since we both know what we're doing, it's not insulting.

For example, "You're hair looks so hot today babe... but you've gotta pick up your clothes!"

 

Sliding scale - eh, I think that's relative to the relationship.

 

As for the why, it's hardly explainable within posts - but in short, we just work out. We have the same moral code, values, same expectations and boundaries and there's been no need for any drastic compromises because we just expect the same things from each other. We still enjoy the simplest things together, we don't start fights, we keep it real and we're extremely openly honest. It's just meant to be (cliché I know) but it really is true, infinite love.

[HouseKitten]

I agree with the sliding scale. I'm not married but I am in a committed relationship. Some days, I'm sure we annoy each other a little more than usual. I wouldn't think about leaving him but it's not quite as intense as days like the one I've just had, for example, which was definitely a 10 for both of us. We had a couple of really good 'moments' throughout the day where I felt a strong physical sense of being in love. You don't get that every single day, and since that feeling is a 10, some days will be a 9 or an 8.

[misssmithviii]

I guess I misread the question... I don't have days where I love my man any less than a 10. Being annoyed or having conflict with him on occasion doesn't make me love him less, it just means I'm aggravated at the moment... I never associated being peeved or not going on a moonlit walk through the beach, with loving him less.

[babii doll]

not married yet, engaged. but i think lately we're at a 10. we've had so many ups and downs in 3yrs, including a long seperation, broken trust, heated arguments, that it somehow made us stronger as a cpl, i love him more now then ever. i also think the long distance at the moment keeps things fresh, def believe in the heart grows fonder theory. right now things are great, even on our "off" days, he is my future and the feelings are the same on his end, looking forward to starting a new chapter with him, marriage next yr

[Hurting85]

Hubby and I had this conversation the other day. He was at an 8 (in the middle of a fight, at that!), and by then end of it I was between a 9 and 10.

 

I probably sit that high most days, actually.

[savignon]

I agree with the sliding scale. I'm actually happy to see that the "10s" still come...when I got married I wondered if after some time things just leveled out to a "5" or something. I think the lows make the highs even more enjoyable

[Lady Rashomon]

Le sigh. I don't think I've EVER been at a 10 or at the high end of the scale, even when things were "good" between us.

[april15]

If you call it a love rating I'd say 10 always, my love is constant. If you call it a happiness rating I would usually say 8 or 9 with 7's and 10's sprinkled in on a regular basis.

[misssmithviii]

If you call it a love rating I'd say 10 always, my love is constant. If you call it a happiness rating I would usually say 8 or 9 with 7's and 10's sprinkled in on a regular basis.

 

Yay someone that understands what I'm talking about ^_^

[TSandullo]

This is a very interesting thread.

 

When I first came to ENA, I've spent 99.9% of my time on the getting back together thread.

 

My ex left me this Jan because (I think) her feelings for me were not constant and fluctuated (sliding scale?), I guess perhaps she thought that true love was a '10' and constant.

 

I believed otherwise, agreeing with the sliding concept.

 

So, answering the question, following the breakup and during, went from 2 to 9, but I was always committed.

 

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

 

TS

[Hermes]

I think this article is good.

Marriages don't break; they erode over time. Each time a sarcastic or hurtful remark goes without repair or apology some of the bond that holds a couple together washes away. Each time a spouse fails to identify an emotional need of the other and attend to it, a little more glue disappears. Each time a conflict is avoided because the couple despairs of constructive discussion and resolution there is more erosion. And each time sex is refused or avoided because one of the partners feels emotionally disconnected the process accelerates.

 

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[Batya33]

I think this article is good.

 

 

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I disagree that is goes away - I think it is harder to repair if not repaired right away but it doesn't need to go away. Love is not a car wash and relationships should be active not passive.

[Hermes]

That paragraph is only part of the article.

 

"Should" is a wonderful word......., and indeed both spouses or partners being active in keeping their relationship alive is a much to be desired aim. Unfortunately, it doenot always work out like that.

 

H

[3boys]

I "love" my husband as much as the day I married him....probably more--a definite 10. As far as "happiness" goes, it fluctuates....there are days when I'm ready to strangle him and others when I couldn't ask for a better husband.

[amsterdam]

I'm pretty consistently at a 2. The love I once had for my husband is gone, and without some kind of miracle it's probably never coming back.

[Batya33]

That paragraph is only part of the article.

 

"Should" is a wonderful word......., and indeed both spouses or partners being active in keeping their relationship alive is a much to be desired aim. Unfortunately, it doenot always work out like that.

 

H

 

Yes, but it is a choice each person makes, not something that "happens" passively so it is within the couple's control to be active in keeping things fresh and alive.

[Miss Firecracker]

What is love?

 

If my husband is happy with himself, he loves me more. I've learned not to take the ups and downs too personally. Right now we are in survival mode.

[Hope_Springs_Eternal]

I think this article is good.

 

 

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excellent article Hermes and I 100% concur with this as someone twice married!

[scared and alone]

10. Very much. Sure, we have our issues, but I really do love him.