Signs that a shy guy is getting brave

[givinggirl]

What are the signs a shy guy is at least thinking about getting brave with a girl he fancies? I've been interested in this guy for a while now and I know that he's interested too by his actions, but he wouldn't verbally admit it if someone asked him. Many have asked and he usually responds with "it's complicated", which basically just means he's not going to talk about it. He doesn't really share private things with other people. Personally, I think that he has a fear (or many) since he hasn't dated since his first relationship didn't go so hot. I've tried inviting him out, but he will only agree when he knows that other people will be around. It's like he is afraid to be alone with me, except to walk me to my car or home.

 

This past weekend, we were at a bar party and at the end of the night some people moved to a different bar. He suggested leaving to me, so we did. Outside, he gave me a big hug and picked me up (like he usually does when saying goodbye). I turned to walk to my car and then he turned around and said, "you want to hang out?" I knew he meant tonight with the other people who left, so I said, sure and asked where. He told me to go home first and we'll figure it out. He lives in my neighborhood, so we both drove home. Then he text me with where, then he text me that he was home, then he text me that he would pick me up in 5, then he text me when he was leaving. He came over and we walked to the bar. He bought me a drink, moved his chair to be sitting right next to me, etc. Then about an hour later, got up and gave me a hug saying he was leaving, so I hugged him, but then said, I would walk back with him. We talked while walking and I put my arm around his arm. Then he hugged me goodnight on my driveway.

 

I felt like he was more forward than normal by initiating the hanging out, cause he never does that. I'm trying not to get too excited, even though I want to, but he tends to get a little bold and then run away and avoid. So far, he hasn't avoided.

[stella74]

I had to respond to this because I noticed 150 people looked at your post without commenting (probably all shy guys LOL).

 

Maybe no one responded because it sounded like you answered your own question. Can you give us an update? What is it you need to know that you can't figure out on your own?

[givinggirl]

I had to respond to this because I noticed 150 people looked at your post without commenting (probably all shy guys LOL).

 

Maybe no one responded because it sounded like you answered your own question. Can you give us an update? What is it you need to know that you can't figure out on your own?

 

Well, I thought he was being more forward, just looking for opinions, but now, he's avoiding again. It's like we take a step forward and it freaks him out, so then he avoids and that just takes back the step forward that I thought we took.

[stella74]

I think it's hard for people to give you advice because you're not really asking a specific question. It seems like you already have things figured out.

 

In any case, perhaps it's your turn to ask him to hang out since he already asked you once. He may need to feel more comfortable with you before he asks you out on an official date. You will know he is getting brave when he asks you out on a date that he plans ahead of time. It won't be a last minute hang out session. Good luck!

[LifeGoesOn09]

The guy definitely doesn't sound shy to me lol. I think you're mixing up genuine wall flowers with something else!

[Bluesman89]

The guy definitely doesn't sound shy to me lol. I think you're mixing up genuine wall flowers with something else!

What he did here doesn't necessarily mean he's not shy. I know this as a very shy/self conscious guy myself.

 

Even saying 'hello' to a girl I find attractive is a challenge to me (I'm that bad). Recently though I went up to a girl I had never talked to before, introduced myself and tried to spark a conversation. It started off good but failed due to my poor conversation skills. Why I did this as an extremely shy guy? I don't know to be honest.. I guess us shy guys just get little spurts of bravery now and again. Could be that our minds getting sick of feeling so isolated all the time and subconsciously we get a little push.