How many of us use the advice that we give?

[doityourself]

I like to come ENA to read, it makes me feel good that there are people out there that care that others are hurting and suffering, people that will take time out of thier day to give a kind word or some advice. Then I started thinking........

 

How many of us really use the advice that we are giving for thier personal issues? If you were in that situation, would you actually do what you've told the poster they should do?

 

Okay, like I post in the suicide forum quit often, I like to say exercise, but when Im really down do I do that, NO.

 

How often do we give advice that we should take ourselves????

[WomanWriter]

I think the best advice is when people share their similar stories because then you don't feel alone and can see what works for other people. The worst advice is when people lecture and nag about what you "should" do. I don't think that helps.

 

I do take my own advice several times. After I see what I suggested to someone else, I do it. But usually I don't tell people what they should do. I tell peolpe what I would do, and they decide if they like it or not.

[Convict7]

I try to follow the consensus advice I get from here. I try to give advice in the best interest of the poster and not just what they want to hear. In practice, I make all of the "mistakes" that are warned against on this site. I suck at playing games and not letting my ex in on my feelings. So I don't play the games and I blurt out things I shouldn't. I can't help myself. I still have a lot of feelings for her. Sometimes it makes me cry that I feel so much for her and I can't be with her. Sometimes I smile about how happy thinking about her can still make me.

 

So yeah, I don't take my own advice. It's more or less good advice but I am not suave enough to follow it. I'm driven by my emotions when it comes to my ex. Logic runs most of my life, or at least I like to think so, but emotion ends up taking control more often than is probably right. Oh well, I'm good at making mistakes and I'll stick to my strengths.

[pumpkinmoon]

I found ENA a great comfort when I was going through a lot of bad stuff. It felt like it was the only place I really had.

 

When I give advice, I give it based on what I think is best for the person at the time. I'd like to think I could follow my own advice but it is much much easier to see the situation for what it is when it is not your own.

 

Of course the advice I sometimes give isn't the easiest to do but ultimately I believe that what I say is the best thing to do.

[Cognitive_Canine]

"Don't procrastinate" is probably the only advice I give but don't take myself.

 

When it comes to relationships, I do as I speak almost exactly, I would say.

[FarthestEdge]

Interesting question. I think that in coming to this board, I am more cognizant of how I handle my marriage. Participating in the forum has also helped me to really explore WHY I believe in the things I believe in..Because nothing tests your beliefs more than having to defend them to an intelligent person with an opposing viewpoint.

 

But in regards to the advice I give, I think a lot of it is really based on how I handle my own relationship, so yeah, I think that for the most part, I DO take my own advice. Same with the parenting boards...

 

Not perfect at it. But I do think that when I keep telling others the same things over and over, it keeps it at the forefront of my own mind, and then I tend to do as I say, so to speak.

 

Hmmm--maybe I need to spend some more time on the Health, Body, Mind & Spirit board....

[FarthestEdge]

I found ENA a great comfort when I was going through a lot of bad stuff. It felt like it was the only place I really had.

 

When I give advice, I give it based on what I think is best for the person at the time. I'd like to think I could follow my own advice but it is much much easier to see the situation for what it is when it is not your own.

 

Of course the advice I sometimes give isn't the easiest to do but ultimately I believe that what I say is the best thing to do.

 

Very, Very true.

[Day_Walker]

Although I have not been in some of the situation in which I give advice, I tend to input my own personal way of dealing with that issue as the advice that I give.

[Mauxly]

I mostly share what I've been through, what worked or didn't work for me. I think that overall it is better to do that than to just tell someone what they should do. Because how do we really know the situation by a few paragraphs on the internet?

 

I have given some emo-knee jerk crap advice on here a few times (embarrassing). So I hope people don't take ENA as gospel.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I mostly share what I've been through, what worked or didn't work for me. I think that overall it is better to do that than to just tell someone what they should do. Because how do we really know the situation by a few paragraphs on the internet?

 

I have given some emo-knee jerk crap advice on here a few times (embarrassing). So I hope people don't take ENA as gospel.

 

Don't worry. I've completely misread an OP before and given some awful initial advice. Only for people to get up in arms and then I correct myself. Everyone has bad days (and days of bad eyesight).

[doityourself]

^Ive also done this, did come back and bite me to.

 

I also like to hear personal stories, it hits home more than anything else, how did you get through that. Oh thats what you did and it helped then Im going to try it.

[quirky]

How can we? When I'm overwhelmed I can hardly see beyond my nose. But usually the advice I give is something I followed even slightly, otherwise I wouldn't even know the advice.

[Shortpants]

My therapist once told me, "We do the best we can to deal with a issue with the tools we have available to us at that time. Once we have come through the issue, we have a new set of tools in our arsenal for the next time the issue arises." I love this and it is so true. As others have said, it is the personal stories that people post that hit home the most with me, and when I post I generally only post about things I have had experience with, thus I have learned the "tools" that worked for my particualr situation.

 

Do I take the advise I give? Hmmmm, yes and no. If faced with an issue I have dealt with before, or something similar, I use the things I learned the last time to get through it. If it is something new, I don't have that tool yet, so I learn it by doing and have it next time.

 

Life is learning and growing, I don't have all the answers or nor do I claim to have all the answers. All I can do is share my experiences and hope it helps another person in need.

[Atticus90]

I don't really use my own advice even though my advice is correct. Most of the advice I give as easier said than done basically. I wish I could though, but its hard lol.

[KG]

I give advice based on my experiences, so, yeah, I heed myself.

[Dako]

I'm pretty consistent in that way. I nag myself the same way I nag others. Sometimes it works.

[Hermes]

Same here, KG.

 

I give advice based on my experiences, so, yeah, I heed myself.

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[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yes, the advice I give is what I follow for myself.

[Binoo]

Normally if I'm responding to a post I talk about a similar situation I've been in and what I've done and whether it worked and what I now know I should have done if the situation didn't work out in my favour.