dont know what to do anymore. Suggestions ?

[coolgirl]

I know that my ex is an ex for a reason and he should be someone from my past and i already have accepted that. We dont talk alot like we use to back in the days. Our contact has lessened and we both have moved on our with our lives both he & I.

 

Sometimes, I find myself missing the person he use to be and I tell him that I miss him. I guess it sucks when he cant say it back but I learned for it not to get to me or take it the hard way.

 

But lately anytime I try to express my emotions and tell him that his actions are hurting me. He's just plain stone cold and I dont understand why he's turned to be this way and he was never like this towards me.

I had a hard time during the marriage to learn to communicate with him but now I dont and can just talk to him like a friend. Its like i'm trying to make an effort or trying to work someway around it for him to come around but still nothing.

 

What I want to know is that why is it after a while when your with someone for a while why do they turn stone cold with you and pretened you dont exisit anymore ? I'm just trying to understand.

 

Its going to be 2 years sense our divorce. At first I had a hard time letting him go and tried to beg and plead him to come back and did all there was but I didnt get anywhere like that and I let it go for a year and a half. I tried talking to him in a nice matter way and slowely discussing our situation and see if there is anyway around to get back together slowely

he's just plainly shuts me out and wont give me the time of day to talk to him without actually understanding me and were I come from and honestly his actions do hurt me sometimes like I said i try for it not to get to me. and I dont understand why. I tried being understanding and calm during the conversations we have and not going bulestic on him. So somehow I try to keep my cool when I do bring up the subject of us getting back together. He's always coming up with reasons not trying to work anything out.

 

Our marriage was not perfect but sometimes we had our good momments too. I realized that 2 years ago I made the biggest mistake leaving him. We were suppose to be seperated but I thought that I was doing him a favor by divorcing him and not hurting him anymore, emotinally & mentally. I didnt know if he still wanted to be with me after all I've done and putting a big strain in our marriage. Sometimes, I think me talking is not making any difference.

 

I dont want to marry him because I dont believe in marriage anymore. I dont want to have kids with him because I dont see myself ever having children. I just want to be in a committed relationship with him and knowing that there is no future or marriage involved and dont have to be responsible with one another.

 

I just dont know what to do anymore i feel like i'm at a dead end. Can anyone tell me how to go about this because i'm fixing to give up sometimes soon but i'm not because I know there is some goodness in him. Just dont know how to get around it anymore. Help

[minou]

There really nothing you can do, but accept things as they are right now. I'm in the same situation, in that we have absolutely no contact, and it really hurts. The last thing he told me was how much he loves me. We were going to talk the next day and he never called back. It still feels like hell after all this time, though there are more moments of serenity. Maybe one day he'll look back and the good times will exert a pull on his heart. For now though you have to do your best to just move on. I don't try to reach him anymore. I do feel that when he thinks of me now, he'll know it has nothing to do with my trying to contact him and there's more chance he'll realize how much I am a part of him. We were madly in love for 12 years. Good luck and feel free to PM me.