Do the men in your life notice when you clean?

[dragon lady]

I remember when I lived at home my mother would clean and the only person who would notice was me. Our house could go from pigsty to pristine and the males in my family couldn't tell the difference. Now I'm the one cleaning and my SO doesn't notice, even if I've spent all day making things look respectable!

 

Is this widespread for males?

[-Sanguine-]

Probably not all, but my bf doesn't notice either.

I used to do a good cleaning of the place before he'd come home from working for the week and he doesn't notice. He doesn't do much cleaning either, unless it gets really messy. I like things neat, so I don't mind if I have to clean up.

 

The only thing he notices is if there's hair somewhere. Yes, I am a girl and I do have a lot of hair. He notices that, but doesn't say anything after I clean it up, lol.

[BellaDonna]

My SO notices and will say "The house looks good". BUT.....He will proceed to make a mess within minutes of me cleaning. (Is that worse though lol? -to notice and still not care about leaving toothpaste globs in the sink after you know your partner just spent, or should I say wasted time cleaning it??? I dunno)

 

Oh I can't talk about this for long- it puts in an extremely pissy mood which makes me want to play my "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone" song on my Paula Cole CD....grrr....

[babii doll]

maybe he does notice? he just doesnt aknowledge it or give you a pat on the back for keeping the place * * * * and span

[dragon lady]

maybe he does notice? he just doesnt aknowledge it or give you a pat on the back for keeping the place * * * * and span

 

No, he doesn't notice. Yesterday I spent a couple of hours cleaning and tidying. He came in and asked what I'd done that afternoon. I told him about the cleaning and he looked around and said "ahh, I didn't notice until you just said it now."

 

This is not a major problem, mind you. I clean for myself more than anything and I'm happy to keep doing so. I was just wondering whether this is common. It seems to be, based on my experiences growing up and from what I've heard from other women.

[sophie274]

One of the men in my life, my Dad, is very neat and definitely notices a mess and a cleaning job.

 

The other, younger ones (boyfriends) have noticed me cleaning and new-found cleanliness and thanked me, but never seemed to notice the mess enough to clean it before I couldn't take it anymore and did it for them Same as Bella said, they've also been able to get it right back to messy again within 5 seconds. Actually, although this thread is about men, I'll be fair and say the worst offender in this regard is my sister. I can spend 2 hours cleaning and it takes her about 2 mins to make it look like a pigsty again.

 

I recommend using strong-smelling cleaning products. That'll get his attention!

[jengh]

No boyfriend I've ever had has noticed if I've cleaned. My dad never notices either.

[Miss Firecracker]

Don't even get me started.

 

Sometimes I really think I should just kill myself and get it over.

[dragon lady]

Looks like I'm not alone in this

[sophie274]

Looks like I'm not alone in this

 

It's sort of our slogan on here I really recommend the scented Febreeze or Lysol spray - everyone knows the smell of clean! I imagine you likely use organic cleaning products, but I'm sure there's a lovely pine-scented something you could use to alert him to the fact that you've cleaned!

[petite]

To be fair to the male species unless the house is really dirty how can they tell the difference? If one keeps a clean house and cleans every day or every second day why the need to tell your partner the house is clean? Don't you share chores?

[dragon lady]

It's sort of our slogan on here I really recommend the scented Febreeze or Lysol spray - everyone knows the smell of clean! I imagine you likely use organic cleaning products, but I'm sure there's a lovely pine-scented something you could use to alert him to the fact that you've cleaned!

 

That's an interesting thought. I tend to go for the unscented earth-friendly stuff, but I would think they'd be able to tell by looking.

[sophie274]

That's an interesting thought. I tend to go for the unscented earth-friendly stuff, but I would think they'd be able to tell by looking.

 

Well, if I remember, your boyfriend's not too fussed about orderliness or cleanliness, right? I know I notice when the house is clean because I LOVE for the house to be clean, and it really boosts my mood to come home to an orderly, fresh-looking place rather than to a big mess. But if he's someone who's not really affected by mess, then I can see how it just doesn't register. Some people are also more oblivious to their surroundings than others - I'm the time to notice immediately if someone's made a change to their appearance, but I've died my hair from dark brown to blond and not had my father notice until I pointed it out.

[dragon lady]

To be fair to the male species unless the house is really dirty how can they tell the difference? If one keeps a clean house and cleans every day or every second day why the need to tell your partner the house is clean? Don't you share chores?

 

It was filthy yesterday. I hadn't had a chance to do much since I moved in 2 weeks ago. I mean, I did a major clean before I moved in because it wasn't even habitable at that point, but this was more tidying, vacuuming, dishes, etc.

 

I don't expect him to come in and give me a pat on the head & a treat for cleaning. It's not like I'm after recognition here. It just surprises me that they can not notice the difference after such a drastic change.

 

We haven't really worked out chores yet. He does most of the washing and usually does this dishes, but he's not good with upkeep on much else. Again, I'm not really complaining. I just think this is an interesting phenomenon.

[pinkelephant]

my dad does, so do all of my cousins. some men don't notice, but i think that's because they don't care.

[petite]

It was filthy yesterday. I hadn't had a chance to do much since I moved in 2 weeks ago. I mean, I did a major clean before I moved in because it wasn't even habitable at that point, but this was more tidying, vacuuming, dishes, etc.

 

I don't expect him to come in and give me a pat on the head & a treat for cleaning. It's not like I'm after recognition here. It just surprises me that they can not notice the difference after such a drastic change.

 

We haven't really worked out chores yet. He does most of the washing and usually does this dishes, but he's not good with upkeep on much else. Again, I'm not really complaining. I just think this is an interesting phenomenon.

 

I suppose everyone is different. You just moved maybe he should have noticed, but perhaps he isn't a person who cares much for a very clean home. Having been raised by a extremely clean mother who airs, dusts, vacuums and does other stuff every single day without fail and my father definitely recognizes her efforts and helps out but prefers to do outside work rather than inside and she likes it that way even though he helps with things inside. I adapted her cleanliness but I definitely am a bit more laid back than she is. I can skip a day of vacuuming, while she can't. My guy lives alone and is of the opinion and I quote him on this "there is always work to be done around the house" he is very clean also and can't stand a dirty house.

[Celestialagape54]

My dad and my brother notice all the time but they are neat freaks. However, none of my SO's have ever noticed.

[pinkelephant]

lol i forgot about the stupid edit function. i was going to say, as for boyfriends... all of them actually cleaned up after me.. and i'm clean!! so, they definitely notice. i think it's a person-dependent thing.. not a guy thing.

[velvette]

my bf notices because I clean rarely. on the other hand, I never notice when he cleans since mess doesn't bother me haha. he honestly does most of the cleaning, though we both don't really mind messes (as long as it's not dirty, food/bugs and stuff, untidy is fine) so not much cleaning gets done!

 

it's not gender-specific, only upbringing and whatever you're used to I guess.

[LightbulbSun]

I can have my apartment respectable (for me), and my mom or a female friend will walk in, and start criticizing. "Don't you ever clean your apartment?"

 

I think guys are generally more messy, so we have a more acceptable range of what's clean and what's dirty. I frankly don't care if everything's pristine, I just care if it looks okay (that can apply to carpets too, if it doesn't look dirty, don't vacuum it!)

[_Asti_]

He notices, he thanks me, he rewards me, and he returns the favour.

[sidehop]

I try to thank her as much as possible, sincerely of course because after all she's home, running her business while raising our daughter and picking up ALL day. Plus she's happier when things are in order, that's just her personality. As much as I can make her happy with chocolates or something, she's happier when I can contribute the house.

 

Now that she's pregnant a lot of leftover cleaning in the kitchen and picking up is something I do. It does make end of the day feel more refreshing, not going to bed and waking up to a mess.

 

It's hard though, some days we just don't want to do anything and watch TV!

[Batya33]

He doesn't say "thank you" at the end of the day (when I do most of my cleaning) but when he sees me cleaning/straightening he will tell me he loves me. He does say thank you when I pick up after him or apologizes "I was about to do that" (my timing is different from his - not much different but different enough!).

 

I don't think he notices when I do the extra touches - fold his towel after it dries, things like that, which is funny to me. I don't think he cares much in general about neatness and I only started caring a whole lot more after we had our baby.

[sidehop]

I think it's a guy thing, maybe it's me but women seem to be more detailed oriented in a way that guys aren't.

 

I know one thing for sure, I can vacuum and mop the floor all day, she can do it in less time and do it perfectly.

[velvette]

^no way it's just a matter of getting used to it, how familiar you are with cleaning. since he's been cleaning way longer than me (used to go to boarding school, they made him make his bed/keep his room clean/wipe the mirrors/mop the floors), he does it in less time and better than me. this has nothing to do with gender, nothing! just social conditioning causes women to be in charge of cleaning more often. does not mean guys are doomed to be bad at it, or girls have some innate cleaning superpower lol.

 

I'm the worst cleaner ever!