Trying to handle my nervousness,paranoia and social anxiety.

[Myles]

Ugh I'm such a nervous jittery person. I've been like that since I've been a kid and I'm trying to calm it down now that I'm an adult. I've always been painfully shy, mainly with strangers and authority figures like teachers,adults who are more older than me. I just want more confidence in myself but I don't know how to get to that point. It's embarrassing that I go out and I can't even talk to a stranger without looking down on the ground,smiling uncontrollably and jumbling my words. Or having the feeling or thought that people are thinking in their head that 1.)I'm dumb , 2.)I'm ugly 3.)Crazy . Or wondering who's talking about me behind my back.

 

I think having a history of being teased and ridiculed in most of my childhood has made me this very weak individual today. I care entirely too much about what people think. I'm overly sensitive, I take things way out of proportion. I'm really paranoid to the point of not even going to the restroom in public when I'm out with a group of friends, in fear that my friends may start laughing and talking about me behind my back, even though most don't give me a reason to believe they would. I know that sounds silly but that's basically how my mind works.

 

I want to get to a level where I'm comfortable in my own skin. I want to be carefree, a little more laid back,witty and funny. I really love those traits in other people and I wish I could have it but I don't. I also want to stop being so sensitive. I realize that not everyone is going to like me, but I really wish I knew a way not to take it to heart.

[Celadon]

Well, Myles, at least you have an idea of where you want to go, and that is a good start.

 

I think sometimes social anxieties and intimidating situations need to be handled one piece at a time. Indeed, they are overwhelming expressly because they are complex and not entirely logical.

 

One thing I've learned about how to deal with other people's opinions of me: Realize that they care more about what I think of them than what they think of me. In other words, it's false to think that ANYONE is constantly thinking things about me. It's just not reality. Everyone else is too self-absorbed (lol) and concerned with their own needs to worry about what I am doing.

 

You feel self-conscious because you are directionless, so you look to your friends for affirmation. Perhaps instead you could think about what it would take for YOU to have fun while you're with your friends (i.e., tend to your needs). Then focus on that and try to accomplish it.