what goes round comes round!!

[loulou37]

do you believe in...."what goes round comes round"

 

im not a bad person, but i feel i was very controlled in my relationship, pushed away, pulled back. i just feel my ex deserves something back for how he treated me. hes dumped me everytime theres been a problem, and evrytime broke my heart.

[Distant]

I believe in Karma. So yea what goes around comes around. He will get a taste of his own medicine.

[loulou37]

I believe in Karma. So yea what goes around comes around. He will get a taste of his own medicine.

gud gud, brought a smile to my face reading that.

[HeartGoesOn]

I believe that everyone, in some way pays for their wrong doings. But, when all is said and done, the best revenge is to live a good life.

[Hermes]

hes dumped me everytime theres been a problem, and evrytime broke my heart.

 

And you stayed with him.....

 

H

[Hermes]

Karma is not about punishment or revenge. It is about decisions taken.

Loulou, you decided to stay with this man despite his treatment of you. And, well, you have seen the results of that.

 

 

Karma is not about punishment. In Spirit there is no absolute right or wrong. It is about experience and fulfillment of purpose. The idea that we are punished for sins is a man-made form of social control. A highly advanced soul may choose to incarnate into a crippled body, or as an insect, if that is beneficial to their progress.

 

link removed

 

H

[loulou37]

i did yes, i loved him very much..still love him....i would even go back with him now if he asked. but i know he wont. maybe im just a glutton for punishment, maybe just downright stupid....

[loulou37]

Karma is not about punishment or revenge. It is about decisions taken.

Loulou, you decided to stay with this man despite his treatment of you. And, well, you have seen the results of that.

 

 

 

 

link removed

 

H

puff bit confusing that 1

[Hermes]

Loulou:

 

You say:

 

....i would even go back with him now if he asked

 

While in another breath talking about "what goes around comes around".

 

No you are not stupid. But I think now is the time to work on yourself, to develop healthy boundaries and hopefully in the future to get into a healthy relationship, not a dysfunctional one like this.

 

H

[loulou37]

i know, im not thinking straight at all, of course ill say i want him back because of the love i have for him, but i truly know that this wil never happen.

 

i feel hes had everything hes wanted and he walks round like hes the big i am, it would just be nice if he was knocked down a peg or two, like put him in his place....hes left me in such a state, you know i cant even look at my body in the mirror.

[Hermes]

you know i cant even look at my body in the mirror.

 

This is terrible. This man has MADE you feel like this about yourself, through his treatment of you. And you LOVE him?!

 

As I said, time to think about yourself, to get your self-esteem back. Don"t bother about what happens or doesn"t happen to him. He doesn"t care anyhow. A hard pill to swallow, I know, but do please hold on to your dignity.

 

H

[loulou37]

hes left me feeling guilty, because i had facebook, and my contacts were mostly guys, he said he sees it as cheating. hed also been in my facebook and email....and he didnt like what he found there...which was all innocent.

 

but im here feeling like it was all my fault we broke up.

[Hermes]

Don-t buy into it, Loulou. It is not your fault. Leaving aside that he should not have been into your email.

 

H

[loulou37]

Don-t buy into it, Loulou. It is not your fault. Leaving aside that he should not have been into your email.

 

H

your so right, but no1 else sees it like that, they think its me

[loulou37]

i even feel bad for what he must of felt when he saw my old plentyoffish account, it was when we split up, never used it once we were back together...but it still makes me feel bad that he read the things id said to other guys. even tho there was nothing bad.

[Distant]

If you feel nothing good will ever come out of your relationship with him then you need to decide for yourself if he is worth the pain and heart ache.

[BriarRose]

do you believe in...."what goes round comes round"

 

im not a bad person, but i feel i was very controlled in my relationship, pushed away, pulled back. i just feel my ex deserves something back for how he treated me. hes dumped me everytime theres been a problem, and evrytime broke my heart.

No, Karma is a myth. Obviously, people do bad things and have good things happen to them, and vice versa. However, you DO have control over what you can do in situations. You are not a pawn, you can control a situation and protect your heart by being aware of patterns and repeated behaviors.

[loulou37]

your right distant, my heart is holding on, but my head was out of it a ages ago....

 

ive known for a long time that he wernt for me, that he was controlling me, slowly destroying who i was..

 

i didnt feel like me anymore..i read this in another thread....

 

 

Originally Posted by Brigadoon View Post

Dead right; I feel that one of the reasons my last relationship failed was because of what I call my "Inappropriate compromising" ie I care too much and compromise on everything in order to make you feel happy and secure. You can't shake the feeling that I'm not actually a real person because I'm constantly agreeing with you and I resent the hell out of you because I feel like you are in love with someone who isn't really me.

And that's in a normalish relationship; never-mind one where you've already walked out the door once and I'm desperate not to be abandoned again.

The only way you can sustain a relationship is to be an authentic person, and the only way you can be an authentic person is by caring more about yourself than anyone else.

So in my opinion the ONLY way you can reconcile successfully is when it is no longer important to you, and is not really reconciling then because it's a whole new relationship.

 

 

this was how i was with my ex..

[Hermes]

I agree with MissK

 

You are not a pawn, you can control a situation and protect your heart by being aware of patterns and repeated behaviors.

 

H

[Hermes]

Loulou:

 

Who are these "elses"

 

but no1 else sees it like that, they think its me

 

a) it is none of their business and b) forget about what others think.

 

H

[loulou37]

ill never let it happen again....i cant be like that. from now on im going to be me.

 

i suffered nearly 13 yrs with depression and anxiety, the 4 yrs i lived in spain i got myself better....

 

now today ive been the doctors, im back on antidepressents, my world has fell apart, my planned future gone...im a wreck..

 

i cant blame him, it was me, i shouldve been in control of the situation.....i loved him and wanted to please him.

[loulou37]

Loulou:

 

Who are these "elses"

 

 

 

a) it is none of their business and b) forget about what others think.

 

H

the others are some of my family, they say i should of deleted everything in my email and facebook, but i didnt think i needed to, anyway as far as i was concerned it meant nothing.

[Hermes]

This is SO beside the point, Loulou.

 

they say i should of deleted everything in my email and facebook

 

The point is the kind of man this is, and you deserve better. So, go for it.

 

H

[Hermes]

I truly hope for better things for you Loulou.

 

now today ive been the doctors, im back on antidepressents, my world has fell apart, my planned future gone...im a wreck..

 

I also hope that you can get some counselling, some support where you are.

 

H

[Hermes]

Could I urge you to look seriously at this. I think you will find it helpful.

 

 

 

H