Atticus90 Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Title says it all. Just got out of my first serious relationship and I'm starting to feel the "oh can never love anyone else like i did her" syndrome. I'm pretty sure I could if i put effort into it, but I'd like to stop feeling that way before I start dating, 'cause I wont have much motivation for the relationship if I think that way. Is there a time period when i'll get over that? Do I have to come to a realization of some sort to not think that? Link to comment
metrogirl Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Well you probably wouldn't love someone else like you loved her anyway. Each love is different. I remember when my 8 year relationship with my ex fiance ended, I thought for sure I could never love another man like I loved him and I was right...I could never love anyone like him because there was only one him but I could still love and I did. I have been in my current relationship for 5 years and I'm crazy about him. Give yourself time. Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 That sucks, but I can agree with you on that. Regardless on how much pain and suffereing she put me through, put her flaws behind us and loved her no matter what. Sappy eh? lol I just want to be able to love someone and care for them. Probably not the same love, but just that feeling if you catch my drift. It's weird, but I miss the sex and her body a lot. Kinda weird coming from me considering I've been bawling my eyes out everyday since we broke up. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 i thought the same at 19, my first real boyf had left me, i thought it was the end of my world, now im 37, had a few serious relationships but my last relationship was the best i ever had, i loved him, but truly loved him, id never loved like that b4... you will love again. Link to comment
jettison Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Title says it all. Just got out of my first serious relationship and I'm starting to feel the "oh can never love anyone else like i did her" syndrome. I'm pretty sure I could if i put effort into it, but I'd like to stop feeling that way before I start dating, 'cause I wont have much motivation for the relationship if I think that way. Is there a time period when i'll get over that? Do I have to come to a realization of some sort to not think that? Eventually, you come to realize that you were clueless and that you absolutely can feel that way about another, and will feel that way again in the future. Plus, we employ revisionist history. We look back on the "loves of our lives" with such fondness, and end up completely negating all that bad, normal, human stuff that goes with it. Link to comment
Hermes Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 And, so will you, Loulou. Love again. Hermes Link to comment
sidehop Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 You will love again, a different love with different person. Link to comment
theStig Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 Well you probably wouldn't love someone else like you loved her anyway. Each love is different. I remember when my 8 year relationship with my ex fiance ended, I thought for sure I could never love another man like I loved him and I was right...I could never love anyone like him because there was only one him but I could still love and I did. I have been in my current relationship for 5 years and I'm crazy about him. Give yourself time. 8 years? 5 years? Tie the knot already. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 All I can tell you is that in my 45 years on this planet, I have never met anyone that never loved again, that never got over their ex. I know one guy who was married for 26 years and she left him, and I believe even he got over her. Link to comment
HereIGoAgain Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 All I can tell you is that in my 45 years on this planet, I have never met anyone that never loved again, that never got over their ex. I know one guy who was married for 26 years and she left him, and I believe even he got over her. I know someone personally who has never loved again since they were a teenager, they are now going on 60. Plus, heard of a few others where these were people who suffered a tragedy when their partners died and can understand why they may not have looked for anyone else. That said, I do believe that most people do get over their breakups and find someone else but it won't the be same as before. Link to comment
Urshangrila Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 I can kinda relate to all that, I just recently broke up with my GF after about 2 1/2 years. In the beginning we were crazy about eachother, so crazy that we moved in with each other after about 2 weeks of being together and were together every day till about a week ago. All was good for about the first 2 years then she started spending more time away from home and I found out she had cheated on me twice. She didn't sleep with anyone but she was making out with them, I don't know about everyone else but to me that's about the same as sleeping with someone. I put all that behind me and still loved her with all my heart. Later on in the relationship she decided she didn't want to live with me anymore, that absolutely killed me. I was gonna be fine with it but then later that night I thought if she was cheating on me when we were living together what would stop her from going farther than making out when she is staying in a different house. So the next day I told her that I was tired of her all her sorrys and was tired of always trying to fix things when she messed it up. Then I told her it was over and that I would have all her stuff packed up and bring it over later that day. Ever since that day I have been having feelings of regret, like maybe I shouldn't have ended it. Like maybe I should have tried to make it work. I don't know, Sorry to have rambled on like that but I needed to tell someone and who better to tell then other people going through the same problems. Right now I'm going through the initial breakup phase. All I can think of is her; sights, smells, feelings, songs, even food lol, everything just reminds me of her. Does anyone have any tips that can help me with this because I feel like I'm going insane. I cant do it by myself please someone help me with this lol. Again I'm sorry to ramble on like that, don't know if there is a different thread for something like this, if there is please tell me so I can re post on there. Link to comment
Lastchallenge Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 This is normal and it's part of the healing process Link to comment
Urshangrila Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 But its so dang hard to get over someone that you spent every second of every day with for close to 3 years. I keep feeling like i wanna get over her and then minutes later i try and find ways to get her to come back to me. its all just so damn confusing. Link to comment
SpeedingCars Posted May 27, 2010 Share Posted May 27, 2010 Not that it happened ages ago, but I did feel that way when I was 17, 18, 19, and 20... (I'm 21 now). I was in one relationship (lasted about 4 1/2 years) and I seriously thought I would die alone because we broke up. Even though he cheated, I wanted him back. No matter which guys I tried to like, I couldn't find one that really hit the spot for me. I stopped expecting so much and when I least thought it'd happen, I found someone who treats me nicely and I feel SO in love with him right now. Funny thing is, my ex came crawling back and crying the last few months that he felt me withdrawing from our semi-pseudo-quasi-relationship. This new relationship has made me realize that I did not "love" my ex, I was just obsessed with him. So...it does happen. You will love someone as much, IF NOT MORE, as you did with your ex! Don't worry. Link to comment
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