Is She Just Shy? (Kind of Verbose)

[AFrozenSoul]

So recently I met a female on a forum. She lives really close to me and we have been talking for a while now. I managed to meet up with her twice. Once to go see a movie and this past weekend to watch anime.

 

So my question, is she just as shy as me? It is hard to tell at times. There are times when we talk and she comes off as kind of cold. There are other times when she comes off as incredibly interested. I find that in our relationship I do most of the contacting. There have been a few cases where she contacts me. However, most of the time I am the one saying hello to her. I do my best to schedule dates or hang outs with her. However, she does not have her own car and has to share a car with her sister. So there have been several instances where she could not get the car. I have offered to give her rides, however, she does not accept... or refuse... "We'll see" is her answer.

 

I have a pretty big crush on her. She is very nice, quiet and gorgeous. I know I have made a few mistakes in trying to build something with her. However, she says she thinks I am a really nice guy. However, like I said at times I feel like I am bothering her. I just don't know how to read the situation. Any advice would be most appreciated.

 

I am not sure what other details you guys need feel free to ask if you need more info.

[Cognitive_Canine]

How long have you talked and in what way do you communicate (medium: computer, text, video, phone)?

 

Frequency of communication? What do you normally talk about?

[Knight of Hope]

From what you've said, she's cautious. It probably stems from the fact that you met online. My ex and I met online, and it took us... 4 months until she trusted me enough to go on a real date with me. But that was all her - she's very insecure and is slow to trust men. Actually, I think my ex is sexually attracted to men, but doesn't actually like them. But this thread isn't about me or my ex. I guess my point is that this girl is cautious, and if you want to date her, I'd say you should figure out why. Is she just hesitant because you met online? Or does she have trust issues like my ex did? Of course I wouldn't ask her those questions, but I'd be on the lookout for answers.

 

P.S. I'm very familiar with the "We'll see" - in my experience, it means no, but she's trying to be nice about it. Just think "She's being cautious."

[AFrozenSoul]

@Cognitive_Canine Well we have talked for about two months now. At first I would send her an email and she would take a day or so to get back to me. Then we started chatting online. That took place about every other day or so. Now we text, over the past couple of weeks I text her about every other day. I tried calling her a few times however she did not seem all too happy to be on the phone. So our primary forms of communication have been through the net or texting.

 

We generally talk about our day, and spin off a conversation from there. Whether it be about liking cats, or anime, or hating our siblings.

 

@Knight of Hope Well like I said she has met me in real life. She seemed really into the idea of meeting me and being my friend. Again she says she is nice and that she likes me. I made two mistakes in meeting her. Telling her about my broken heart and telling her I wanted to hug her when she is missing clothing. She told me she was slow with getting physical and stuff and has no interest in any intimate physical interaction at the current moment in time. I have not been able to bring myself to make any physical contact in our two meetings... not even a hug... I feel kind of pathetic.

 

Anyway yeah I am pretty sure I scared her away. I am holding out hope that she is just making sure she can trust me. I am shy, insecure, and female retarded so when I meet a girl on the net I do my best to build something otherwise I don't meet females.

[AFrozenSoul]

Sorry for the double post... however, my mind over thinks. This past weekend I met up with her this weekend. We quietly hung out and watch some anime. A little talking happened however we focused on the anime. She has been insisting that she had a good time and wants to do it again. Part of me does not want to watch anime again till we can actually talk to each other and stuff. I just don't know... our shyness is getting in the way something fierce.