games??

[lunchbox007]

so after our breakup (6 weeks ago). my ex deleted me from facebook and AIM because he said it was "too hard" for him to see everything i was doing all the time because it made him miss me. after 3 weeks, we saw each other, and slept together, then didn't talk for a week, then he unblocked me from AIM. then we saw each other, slept together, haven't talked for a week, and just now he's re-added me on facebook!!

the couple of times we've seen each other it's been very emotional with both of crying and saying we love each other, but ultimately, he thinks that we "just don't work". AND he is in a rebound relationship already!!! so the last time we both agreed that we need to completely cut each other out of our lives for a while until we're "over" each other. we've both respected our NC agreement, minus him texting me once and i ignored it, until tonight.

 

why would he re-add me on facebook?! ahhhhhh...it doesn't really bother me that much though because his facebook is boring anyways haha. and now he'll see how much FUN i've been having without him.

 

it is funny how just when you start to let go and feel good about it, they do something to keep you stringing along...

 

but still...i can't help but wonder why he would do this?? after HE deleted ME and we haven't spoke in over a week and the last time we did we agreed on NC!!!!

 

what do you guys think?? should i deny him?? or add him and let him see all the fun i've been having?

[misssmithviii]

I'd stray away from doing anything that could inhibit your progress without him - if you feel you can add him just to see "all the fun" you're having, you must understand that he'll most likely try and see you again or whatever or perhaps even rebound back to you... and in your current state of mind I would strongly suggest against all that. It just seems like if you truly want to let go, you must let go of caring what he thinks of you at all - you must cut him out of your life and not let him affect you anymore, after all that's what truly letting go entails.

 

When I first broke up with my ex I didn't realize it at the time, but showing him "all the fun" I was having without him and how great I was doing was counter-intuitive. It was only once I just stopped caring about him altogether that I realized it didn't matter what he saw, nothing about him mattered to me anymore and in fact I was playing little games with him.

 

Deny him.

[Lost Nuts]

I say add him.

 

I think that it would not be good if you have posted anything on your wall about him, how much you care about him or hate him etc.

 

Also, it may not be good for you to see what he is doing, it may cause some jealousy.

I wouldn't post on his wall either, this is actually something I still think about.

 

I find that facebook makes it difficult to move on, I thought many times of removing my ex from facebook, but I also want her to see that I'm having a good time without her.

 

Some of my friends are not helpful by posting pictures of me that I don't find attractive, it gets me thinking about contacting them to remove them. Or to stop posting bad pictures of me, they think it's funny, but maybe I'm over reacting. Maybe it doesn't matter that much and the ex would only notice that we are doing stuff without them.

 

I like to post music on my wall and found it difficult to find songs that don't give away my mysery towards the ex. I tend to listen to music about losing love or hating your life, in my case I've always listened to this kind of music but now I fear that my ex may draw some conclusions from it. I'm trying to find songs that are upbeat that I like, with very little luck.

 

Why do I think you should add him?

 

It will give you an opportunity to make him think a little.

He will see your pictures around guys, having fun, maybe kissing, looking sexy, etc.

I went back to an ex before just because she looked good enough to eat, I don't even know what she was saying, but I still remember what she looked like that day.

He may get jealous when you add a bunch of guys as friends, or he may feel inclined to contact you when he sees you online.

 

It would suck if he removes you as a friend again though, but will give you an opportunity to unfriend him.

 

I think there are many benefits, as long as you can keep your cool and spark his attention in a way that he thinks he is missing out.

[Lost Nuts]

I understand your point about letting go, but could you explain what you mean by showing you were doing well was counter-intuitive?

 

Do you mean that it was not helpful in getting back with your ex or moving on?

 

I understand that by moving on it would increase chances of getting a positive reaction from an ex, but I'm still skeptical about completely pushing an ex out of my life in order to get them back.

[misssmithviii]

I understand your point about letting go, but could you explain what you mean by showing you were doing well was counter-intuitive?

 

Do you mean that it was not helpful in getting back with your ex or moving on?

 

I understand that by moving on it would increase chances of getting a positive reaction from an ex, but I'm still skeptical about completely pushing an ex out of my life in order to get them back.

 

Oh you misinterpreted what I was referring to as counter-intuitive.

 

Adding your ex so that they just 'see how well you're doing without them' is counter-intuitive to moving on - putting any kind of thought or importance into an ex while you're trying to move on from them is counter-intuitive, it's contradictory to everything you're trying to accomplish IMO.

I think it's the most absurd thing in the world to push an ex away in order to get them back - that's ridiculous. I don't see how my post implied that at all actually if you read it all the way through.

 

I hope that cleared things up ^_^

[Lost Nuts]

Thanks for clearing that up.

 

I think your right about moving on being a primary goal.

I realized that facebook is stirring up some feelings and decided to keep out of there until I'm less affected.