mirrorman Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 I'm haing a problem that's probably common to a lot of folks here. I've tried to express myself as politely as possible. If I've offended you by what I've written here, my sincerest apologies. Involuntary celibacy is getting to me. I've heard all the traditional advice. Hang out with friends, get hugs from friends and relatives whenever possible, get a cat/dog/black bear. Spend um, quality time with yourself, treating yourself the way you'd want a date to treat you if you had one. Perfectly good advice. Trouble is, it still doesn't quite make it. I'm hurtin' for it! I've got it bad, and that ain't good. Quality time with myself and an "adult" DVD (I've found that the woman-produced ones are less nasty and much hotter) just doesn't quite make it. What's an amorous fiftysomething single man to do? (Professionals aren't an option for a number of reasons, some financial, some legal. And besides, that option is well, sadder and lonelier than going solo and it doesn't help me to learn to fend for myself). Lots of people my age have long since gotten married and so aren't "on the market". Online dating has been only marginally successful so far. My biggest issues are living on disability benefits (I'm not languishing in penury but I do have to budget fairly cautiously) and living several hours from a major city with an active "singles" scene. But by far my biggest issue of all is my shyness. It's much better than it was, and I practice chatting with strangers every chance I get. But it's still like moving a big rock with my bare hands to talk to an attractive woman, cold. I'm not so bad looking myself. I've lost a lot of excess poundage (hint-cut out sugar and empty carbs. You won't be sorry!). I've found a stylist that gives me a better-looking haircut than I've had previously (and who charges less too!). I pay more attention to how I look and don't dress so much like a bachelor (well, not all the time anyway!). But being in recovery from hyper-shyness, I haven't got a clue as to how to meet women for companionship. Though I live in a small city, mall stores keep on being built and traffic on the main drags is still hellish at rush hour, so by the law of averages, there's got to be a woman with needs similar to my own. The question is, how to crack the code? How to approach women, apart from online, without knowing if they're already spoken for (seducing married or coupled women is NOT my thing!)? And while I won't rule out committing to Ms. Right if I ever do meet her, how do I find someone who simply wants to have fun as much as I do? An overnight girlfriend or better still, a friend with benefits? These are things which folks with normal social lives have presumably hashed out for themselves long ago. Has anyone else here been in my situation? How have you dealt with it? How much success did you have? Link to comment
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