Me a girl online, confused about what she's looking for

[Jonathan.]

I'm 23 and I met this cute single 21yo girl on an online dating site last week. She's stationed at the local coast guard base and she just moved to the area. She doesn't know anyone else in town and seems pretty desperate for friends. So I offered to find her some people to hang out with and she replied "Find me people to hang out with, that's nice I think? why are you to busy to hangout?" So I asked her if she wanted to go play pool and she said yes and gave me her phone number. We were supposed to hang out this past weekend but her friend arrived in town a day early, so now we are going to hang out on Friday, I'm going to take her to dinner then to a bar to play some pool.

 

When I first started talking to her last week I was under the impression that she knew absolutely no one in town, and that she was just interested in friends as she lists this in her profile. However I just found out that she is living with her cousin and her best friend who I though was just coming up for a short visit, is moving in with her and her cousin. So now I'm kinda confused about what she wants, I mean she is only looking for male friends, so maybe she likes to be friends first?

 

I don't know maybe i am making too much of this, lol

[Blue Skittles]

Well, she probably IS looking for more friends. A lot of people enjoy meeting new people and making new friends.

 

But bottom line, she is on a dating site. Which means she is probably looking for a date at the same time. She's making arrangements to hang out with you a second time so she is probably interested in you. However, if you only want to be friends with her and do not want to pursue a relationship with her then you need to make that clear the next time you hang out with her.

[Jonathan.]

Well, she probably IS looking for more friends. A lot of people enjoy meeting new people and making new friends.

 

But bottom line, she is on a dating site. Which means she is probably looking for a date at the same time. She's making arrangements to hang out with you a second time so she is probably interested in you. However, if you only want to be friends with her and do not want to pursue a relationship with her then you need to make that clear the next time you hang out with her.

 

I'm definitely interested in dating her, I'm just unsure if she is interested in me at this point. How do I let her know I'm interested in her without coming out and saying so? (all the girls I've dated made the first move, so I'm a little helpless) My best girl/friend suggested that I just pay for the dinner and if she doesn't object to me paying for her then she considers it a date, if she offers to pay half then she's just interested in being friends.

[Shudder]

My best girl/friend suggested that I just pay for the dinner and if she doesn't object to me paying for her then she considers it a date, if she offers to pay half then she's just interested in being friends.

 

hmm i wonder how true this is.. this just happened to me last week where the girl didn't say anything when i paid. ladies?

[Jonathan.]

hmm i wonder how true this is.. this just happened to me last week where the girl didn't say anything when i paid. ladies?

 

Yeah, it would be nice to get some more women to weigh in on this

[lila...]

I'm definitely interested in dating her, I'm just unsure if she is interested in me at this point. How do I let her know I'm interested in her without coming out and saying so? (all the girls I've dated made the first move, so I'm a little helpless) My best girl/friend suggested that I just pay for the dinner and if she doesn't object to me paying for her then she considers it a date, if she offers to pay half then she's just interested in being friends.

 

I always offer to pay my part on a date, so even if she does offer to pay it's not necessarily a sign she's interest in only being friends, just courteous.

[Jonathan.]

I always offer to pay my part on a date, so even if she does offer to pay it's not necessarily a sign she's interest in only being friends, just courteous.

 

I see where you are coming from, and you have good intentions but that's somewhat a slap in the face to a guy, unless you agreed to both go dutch before the date. I know that came off as a little rude, but it's the first chance we get to show you that we can provide for you. and that sounded really chauvinistic, but it goes back to when we were all living in caves. We have a primal urge to provide for and protect the woman we like, now I'm not saying that you need us for that or that women can't provide and protect themselves, it's just that deep down all a guy wants to do is make their woman happy which in turn makes us happy.

 

What would you do if the guy said in response, no I got it maybe you could buy me a drink later?

[lila...]

What I did not finish saying was that even though I offer to pay my part, if he was the one who invited, I expect him to pay the bill. I'm pretty old-fashioned that way, so of course, my response to that would be a good one

[orchidrose]

What I did not finish saying was that even though I offer to pay my part, if he was the one who invited, I expect him to pay the bill. I'm pretty old-fashioned that way, so of course, my response to that would be a good one

 

I'm the same. I ALWAYS offer to pay - even with a boyfriend or a guy I've been on several dates with - but I do typically expect that my offer will be turned down. If it's not, that's fine too.

[Shudder]

I'm the same. I ALWAYS offer to pay - even with a boyfriend or a guy I've been on several dates with - but I do typically expect that my offer will be turned down. If it's not, that's fine too.

 

what if the guy doesn't offer to pay your share? lol

[orchidrose]

what if the guy doesn't offer to pay your share? lol

 

Then I'll pay my own.

[Jonathan.]

So I finally met up with her. We met at a bar and she brought her friend along. They were slightly intoxicated and I was sober. Somehow we started talking about exercising and I mentioned that I am working on losing some weight and they were both like "No you look just fine, we like stocky boys and hate skinny guys!" and as they were saying this they were patting my stomach. They also mentioned that I looked cute. Then we were talking about things that we didn't have listed on our profiles, so I mentioned that I sometimes wear glasses and then they begged me to put them on and once I put them on they were like "You look really good with glasses on!" After that her friend mentions that I have really nice hair and that she would like to play with it so I said "Go ahead" and they took turns playing with my hair. So then me and her go outside so she can smoke while her friend is flirting with a guy inside. We sit down and talk about work etc and then she leans towards me while talking and puts her hand on my knee and then takes it away and begins to apologize for touching me, I didn't really know what to say since I didn't mind her touching me so I just told her that it was okay and that she shouldn't worry about it. 1am comes around and it's time for them to get picked up by their friend. They said that it was really fun hanging out with me and that we should do it again. Then I get a long hug from her and wave goodbye from her friend.

 

I should also mention we met as friends since her and her friend just moved into town and wanted to make new friends, however she did mention that she only said she was looking for friends because when she had it listed that she was looking for a date all she got were replies from creepy dudes.

 

So what is your guys take on this? Does it seem like her or her friend are interested in me or is this just typical drunken behavior?