Seabreeze Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 So my girlfriend of 7 years ended our relationship 2 months ago. I just want to understand how someone can go from loving you and seeing you everyday to not wanting to speak to you at all. She has grown very cold and resentful towards me and I have done nothing to hurt her or make her not trust me. It makes it seem like she regrets that our relationship even existed. We have not had any contact for over a month now...primarily because of her choice...she doesnt want to speak, text or even email me. I just want to know why. Link to comment
SVenus113 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Did she give you any reason for the break up? Link to comment
loulou37 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 are you sure shes not with any1 else? thats maybe why she doesnt want anything to do with you? Link to comment
Regina Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 People get tired of each other. You should give her time to sort over her feelings. And do you know the reason for breake up? May be this is some sort of misunderstanding? Or she has problems? Link to comment
Up and Down Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 There are a lot of reasons: Self protection. Being kind to the person you broke up with. Knowing that you want to move on so you create a wall. You are just plain mean. It's hard to say why she is doing it without knowing the details, regardless of how nice you were. People react very differently to break-ups, there is no one size fits all. If she chose to break up, and does not want to talk to you, just adhere to that. Keep your own distance, "forcing" yourself upon her will only make thigns worse for you in the long run. Sorry things are like this for you, it's a tough time, trying to sort through the emotions and understand it all. Sometimes you just have to throw your hands up in the air and walk away, whether you understand or not. Otherwise you will drive yourself insane, asking the why, what's if's etc. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 It's a coping mechanism, which is often used to justify their decision. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 There are a lot of reasons: Self protection. Being kind to the person you broke up with. Knowing that you want to move on so you create a wall. You are just plain mean. . I think this covers it Link to comment
iBroken Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 It's a coping mechanism, which is often used to justify their decision. ^^^^^ This As asked, is there someone else? I think there might be and that is why she is pusing you away. She might be trying to protect you Link to comment
brokenheart41 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 ^^^^ your avatar is heart breaking Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 So my girlfriend of 7 years ended our relationship 2 months ago. I just want to understand how someone can go from loving you and seeing you everyday to not wanting to speak to you at all. She has grown very cold and resentful towards me and I have done nothing to hurt her or make her not trust me. It makes it seem like she regrets that our relationship even existed. We have not had any contact for over a month now...primarily because of her choice...she doesnt want to speak, text or even email me. I just want to know why. She's moving on. You should too. Link to comment
Hermes Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Absolutely, Hex She's moving on. You should too. Best advice, in one sentence. Why draw out the agony... H Link to comment
jenna-is-here Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 If I had to guess, it is just easier not to see or talk to the person. I would be more concerned if she could just interact with you easily as friends right away after 7 years of an intimate relationship. My guess it is her way of grieving....due to the loss of you. Link to comment
Up and Down Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 If I had to guess, it is just easier not to see or talk to the person. I would be more concerned if she could just interact with you easily as friends right away after 7 years of an intimate relationship. My guess it is her way of grieving....due to the loss of you. This is speculation it would be hard to say without knowing the situation, reason for break up and how she was as a normal person.... Either way if I was the OP, I would just keep my distance as well. Link to comment
Mercurial Girl Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Among many other reasons, she also may be taking great care not to lead you on in any way. She might think that being friendly or maintaining contact with you will give you the wrong idea and she wants to protect you from letting you down again. Link to comment
adamt Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 "What makes people so cold after they break up?" maybe she checked out of the relationship a while ago and was just finding it hard to actually break up. now she is moving on,releaved she has done it, closed that chapter in her life, doesnt want any emotional guilt. Maybe she wants the best for you now and doesnt want to lead you on and give false hope.I asked the same questions as you. I just couldnt get my head around how she could just walk away and make no contact. although 6 months later she did come over and talk to me in a bar. but it was just polite chit chat. things may become clearer over time. After a while i realised she had checked out of the relationship a few months earlier and was a lot more arguementative. maybe she was hoping i would do the breaking up to make it easier on her. just take care of yourself and find things to occupy your time and mind Link to comment
jbrooklyn Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 its sucks and I woner the same as you do. everyone says just move on..yeah that's easy. when u get the answer I will be curious to know Link to comment
CatsMeeoow Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 It's a coping mechanism, which is often used to justify their decision. I agree it's a coping mechanism... its so very hard not to take it personally. My fiance separated from his wife... he was long overdue but they have two great kids! She worked 12hr shifts an hour away and needed to leave by 5am so to help her and their kids since they were in school and he no longer lived in the school district would stay over and get them off to school the next morning. It created confusion for everyone... the kids... the wife... for him... It was easy to fall back into that routine they already had which made him miserable and was never going to change. They needed a clean break and a complete separation. It wasn't easy for him. The decision tortured him. He drank himself into a coma and had to be hospitalized for in patient services for a month. All I'm saying is that sometimes to move forward from something someone doesn't want they need to shut the door... at least for awhile. Try your best not to take it as a personal insult... though I know how hard it is! Hugs! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.