jbr666 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 It's almost as if I deliberately chose someone who I could guarantee would be unfaithful. I split with my GF about 2 weeks ago, after realising that she was always going to be unfaithful no matter what I did to try to change things... Looking back, it was obvious that it was happening right from the start and that it would never change.. We met at a party, that is, my friend found her lost and alone outside my house one night. She joined our party and stayed for a day or two as she was travelling. We really hit it off and she came back the next weekend to visit. The next weekend she emails me to say all her stuff had been stolen and could she stay with me for a while......... alarm bells should have been ringing right away I guess. I'd been alone for some time and I let her come to stay and helped her find a place to live etc etc. She got a job and started to settle down a little. Her parastic tendancies should have been clear from the get go, I can see that now, but I just kept getting myself deeper and deeper... We kind of dated, she said she didn't want a relationship and I thought I was fine with that, she was seeing other ppl but I thought I didn't mind, since she was a little nutty and I thought it would be best if I kept my distance... She would ask me round to see her and other guys would turn up to visit at the same time..... I didn't like the idea of being in some sort of contest, so I tried to keep my distance. She'd keep calling and texting, real friendly and nice, she seemed to be interested in me, I continued to get deeper and deeper, by this time I was really starting to fall for her... After about 4 months or so of this, I decided enough was enough. I told her I wanted a real relationship and if she wasn't interested then I'd have to cut my ties and move on. So that was what happened, I'd still get random texts from her every week or so, simple friendly, hope you're ok, thinking of you kind of thing. Two months of this limited contact and Xmas was approaching. I start to get more messages from her, these were about how * * * * ty her life was, how her flatmate had asked her to move out etc. So I caved and asked her to spend Xmas with me. Deeper and deeper all the time........ We kind of dated over the Xmas holidays, that is, we were together the whole time, I told her again I wanted a real relationship with her, she just said let's see what happens...... two days after Xmas, I took her out to meet a friend of mine, we all went for some drinks and she ended up going home with and sleeping with him..... the next night we were in bed together and her phone rings and it's him, I could tell from the conversation I overheard what had happened. So I tell her to stay away from me, him too and I retreat to lick my wounds and try to move on. Two weeks later, I find out from bebo or something that even though she had been proclaiming that this was some kind of great relationship... she wasn't seeing him any more... this is where I start to turn into a complete idiot (like I wasn't already huh?) I figured I wanted to go back to the way it was before, I just wanted a F Buddy. Why shouldn't I ? I rationalised......... So I started to pursue her..... So I started seeing her again, thing about it was, even though she said she didn't want a relationship, she did expect me to be there for her alot. She would text or call me every day to come visit, unless she had something else on. I was around when her parents came to visit etc, we'd have dinner every night, I'd pick her up from work etc etc... And so it seemed to grow into a relationship, but all the time things would happen, she'd stay out all night with male friends, go out to parties and not turn up for a day or more. Every time I tried to bring up any objection about this behaviour, I was accused of being paranoid or controlling and she could always convince me that I was being unreasonable.... I tried hard not to be suspicious and I guess I did a good job, because we ended uop living together for almost 18months..... Anyway, eventually the evidence became too great to ignore, I couldn't take it any longer and I've moved out.... The thing bothering me is this... It was obviously a non runner right from the start right??? So WHY OH WHY OH WHY did I continue to torture myself trying to make something work which was so plainly doomed to fail??? why did I choose to pursue this girl who was obviously so wrong for me??? I KNEW she was going to be unfaithful, but I kept on at it..... And why am I even now trying to think of ways of getting back to F Buddy status again??? even though it was impossible to work the last time???? Link to comment
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