Frustrated.....

[jakfe]

My 5 year old daughter comes home from school on the bus, and even before she enters the house, I can hear her screaming, she walks in the door with a look on her face that was almost eery to see. I ask her what was wrong, and she told me that a 3rd grader choked her for looking at his book. Red marks were evident on her neck, but no bruising, and the marks went away within the hour. I IMMEDIATELY called the school and talked to the principal about this, which his reply to it (I felt) was a little passive. But he assured me they would take care of it. I am waiting for further communication from him. I guess my question is...where the heck was the bus driver when this was happening, and why was there nothing done about it right then and there?? What is wrong with certain children who feel violence is necessary??? Is it something THEY are experiencing at home?? If this is not solved in a decent manner should I take this one step farther, as in going to the superintendent of the school? they do employ a no bullying policy..which, in itself is BULL because there is no enforcement. As almost the same incident happened to my other daughter 3 years prior...These are Columbine kids in the making and I feel there needs to be WAY stricter policies not only put in place, but actually ENFORCED.

[Catdancer]

Did you take pictures to show the schol administrators? I would take it to the school admins. That kid could have killed your daughter. This is serious. I think you should take action and go straight to the top, but try to remain calm. I'm a fly off the handle type and I have to be careful to calm myself down first, or else I end up causing more trouble.

[jakfe]

sounds like me too no I did not take pics...although hindsight is always 20/20 right?? The principal JUST called me, and said there were going to be actions taken against the boy, and he also spoke to some witnesses to the incident. He said he called the bus company also, and as per my request is having my youngest seated with my oldest daughter, but as for today, I will be picking them both up from school.

[sidehop]

I would be livid and I'm sorry your daughter had to go through this. Kids do the hair pulling and shoving but to choke someone shows a lot of about the parents and how disturbed the child is.

 

I would take this to the highest chain if you don't get any response. I agree, most schools including our school district have zero tolerance for bullying although it's enforced, it needs to be reinforced for even a minor incident let alone something as serious as choking that gave her a mark. Is your daughter okay physically? I'd be worried also that this boy may have hit or hurt her in other areas. If anything going to the doctor maybe a good thing as a precaution.

 

Follow up and pursue this matter to the full extent and as much as this situation is upsetting to you, I agree with CD that try to resolve this manner in a calm and professional manner. But do gather information, evidence and keep all documents and activities relating to this incident. If it happens again or this child is being an endangerment to your daughter or other children and little to nothing was done then that responsibility would fall on the school.

[karvala]

I guess my question is...where the heck was the bus driver when this was happening, and why was there nothing done about it right then and there??

 

Driving the bus I hope. If the bus driver is supposed to police children's behaviour while driving the bus, then I doubt any of them would make it back alive. His eyes should be on the road. The problem is if there is not another adult on board the bus to ensure the well-being and safety of the children. If you want to prevent this from happening again, push for that instead.

 

What is wrong with certain children who feel violence is necessary??? Is it something THEY are experiencing at home??

 

In the vast majority of cases, yes. Bad behaviour almost always comes from bad parenting, though it's immensely unfashionable to say so. Unfortunately, bad parents will always be with us, and so will bad behaviour. It is up to the school to enforce measures designed to prevent it from happening in that environment at least, and you should certainly have a word with them to make sure they're doing so. 100% prevention isn't going to be possible, though, and it's important to recognise and prepare for that.

[BellaDonna]

That's terrible, jakfe. Did it happen on the bus or at the school?

 

Call again today to follow-up to see what the principal is going to do. If things don't seem to be moving along, request a meeting in person.

 

Bullying is a real problem. Unfortunately so many shcools are struggling to get the minimum academic curriculum in, that they don't pay as much attention to behavioral issues or creating positive programs in schools outside of the general curriculum. For bullying to be banished from a school, it needs to be a school-wide effort- with all personnel on the same page. That means principals, teachers, teacher's aides, lunch cooks, janitors, bus monitors, parents.

 

If the school does not do anything within a reasonable time frame, contact the district superintendent.

[jakfe]

It happened on the bus while it was still in front of the school waiting for all the kids to get on.

[Catdancer]

Technically that was assault on your daughter. So, if something like this happens again with the same kid, take pictures, note witnesses and call the police. File a report and let the police get involved.

[lostandhurt]

As far as what the driver was doing he or she may not have seen it. The newer buses have high back seats for safety and little ones can't be seen.

 

It sounds like the school is taking this seriously but you need to be the squeeky wheel here. Insist that the boy not be allowed on the bus and that he apoligizes to your daughter in front of his parents, Principal and you.

Time to talk to your daughter about not allowing anyone to ever touch her in any way and to report anything right away to the nearest adult. My son's school has teachers out by the buses while the kids are getting on.

 

Stay calm but firm on what you want. I know my son's bus driver by name and we talk everytime I get my son off the bus. You may want to get to know the driver so there is a personal connection. It can't hurt.

 

Good luck

 

Lost