Single Parent .. How is it like?

[spongey]

I'm 28, unmarried and 5 weeks pregnant. I will probably end up being a single mom as my BF didn't want to have any kids at all. To all the mommies / single parent out there, please tell me what is the single parenthood road is like .. Thanks a lot.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Have you talked to your bf about this yet? I think you should do that first.

[spongey]

This is the thread which I've started about myself having to choose to being a single mom or to abort quietly.

 

 

 

From here, I just want to know more stories being a parent / single parent as I've never been one before.

[Sparkly Eyes]

I saw that thread...but you said that you have'nt talked to your bf yet, Just wanted to mention that you should before jumping into any conclusions.

 

How is your relationship with your family? Do you think they can help you with this? How is your financial situation? Would you be able to afford having a baby now? How much do you think having a baby might affect your future dating? these are some of the questions you have to answer before deciding.

[ButterflyWrists]

i cant answer as a single parent, but as a child bought up by a single mother, it is hard work, but if you have got support from friends and family, as well as the finances you should do fine.

 

My mum lived over 100miles away from her family and had no job, but she managed to bring me and my brother up really well.

 

As for the other parent, I saw that you are not planning on putting him on the birth cert, you have to, for child support, he made the child too. anyway, my brother and i saw our dad only once every two months and tbh we would have rathered not see him, having no dad in our lives didn't effect me, my brother it did, as he lived with both our parents for seven years while i did only 2.5 years.

[Catdancer]

It is hard being a single mom. My son is 14 months old and I moved us out of his father's house when he was 5 months old. I have to admit it is nice to have an extra person around to help out, but you can do it on your own.

 

Some advice: find a really good daycare. Do some research ahead of time. Do there and watch the kids. We were lucky that my son was able to stay with family until he was 10 months old. And I'll be honest here, I was terrified of sending him to daycare. But I have to admit now, that my fears were silly. lol I found a great daycare that focuses on socializing and teaching them so many things. My son just moved to the toddler room from the infant room and he is learning sign language and making different crafts. They play outside and go for buggy rides. He really does enjoy his time there. So, fine a good daycare.

 

Also, if you dont have family close that can babysit and help out. Find a good sitter. We are lucky that between my son's dad, his mom, his sister and my mom, we can usually find someone in a pinch. So, be sure to line up a good reliable sitter. Even if you have to advertise and interview while you're still pregnant, find someone that can help you when you have the baby. And if you dont have any family close by, tell this sitter that you will require their help when you bring your new baby home. They can come in for 4 hours a day and help clean up, feed, make food and give you a chance to take a shower and have a little time to yourself. This makes a HUGE difference and you will relish this "me" time. Trust me! lol

 

These are the things that have helped me so much. Also, I'm not sure where you live, but since you are pregnant, if in the US, you may qualify for WIC or food stamps. Do not be too proud to take any help that you can get. Also, around here there are places for low income households that will help furnish diapers and wipes and baby supplies. Call social sevices and check into this. Also, utlilize food banks. I had to go on maternitu leave early due to high blood pressure. I got disability from work, but it was very very small. So, I went to the food bank, I got WIC, I got whatever I could to help us out until I could back to work.

 

I suggest planning ahead and trying to line up as much as you can ahead of time. This will be a huge relief to you.

 

Also, let people plan a baby shower for you. If you have family, co workers, friends, etc, hint around that you cant wait for the baby shower. lol You will gets lots of stuff that you need at the shower. And if you have out of town relatives, send them an invite to the shower too. I did that with mine, and they send a wonderful gift to me, but couldnt make the shower. My aunt and uncle sent us the Eddie Bauer Travel system with the big stroller, car seat/carrier all in one. We still use it! lol