a blessing in disguise..

[diggie1]

about two years ago i met a girl through one of those dating websites. we really hit it off at first...hanging out alot, getting intimate, good conversations...all that jazz. well, that lasted about a month. i was a little confused as to why it didn't develop, but i moved on. we stayed in touch here and there..hell, we even hooked up again about six months later and then again about a year later after that (which was about 3 months ago).

 

the thing is, i totally fell for this girl. a love at first sight kind of thing. i just never had the guts to tell her. we had been talking quite a bit again lately..i'd say for about three months. i even went as far as making her a personalized mix tape (yes cassette tape) because she has this thing for tapes. this was a birthday gift that i had no obligation to even give her in the first place, but i wanted because i thought she would like it. things were going so well...

 

last week i decided that i was going to be completely honest with her and confess my feelings for her. so i sent her an email ( i know, i know...bad idea) essentially pouring my heart out to her and telling her that she was everything i've been trying to find for a very long time. her reply said "this is very alarming that you have such strong feelings for me considering that we barely know each other." or something along those lines. i don't feel like i "barely know her". we've actually spent alot of time together and always had a good time. i tried to level with her but i only felt as though i was digging a deeper hole. i apologized for making such an awkward situation and told her that i don't want to be "that guy" so i'll just eliminate all contact info to which she replied "whatever".

 

it's painfully obvious that i never meant anything to her other than an occasional booty call. normally i wouldn't mind that i guess...but, damn it hurts when you wear your heart on your sleeve like that only to be shot down in the most apathetic way.

 

i'm better off knowing that i suppose but i wish i never would have wasted two years chasing her around.

 

thx for letting me vent

[CatsMeeoow]

This is a classic sign of miscommunication....

 

In your mind you thought she was so wonderful and those months apart allowed you to build her into an image of what you were really looking and hoping for...

 

In all honesty I think she did enjoy your company but only casually getting together every few months... for her you were just a fill in... She wasn't truly thinking about you when she wasn't seeing you.

 

How brave of you though to jump in and confess your feelings. Many people would be unable to do that for so many reasons. But, I think if you sit down once the sting of rejection wears off you'll see she was right... you barely know her. I mean if you had known her then you would have been aware of her lack of feelings in regards to your announcement.

 

Rejection sucks... but the best thing you can do is pick yourself up and move forward... you seem to have a clear idea of what it is your looking for and its out there... don't give up!

 

Hugs!