How pretty is too pretty?

[Lamour detruit]

Not everything boils down to attractiveness. To answer your question: no there is absolutely no such thing as too pretty, nor is it something to deter guys from you.

 

There is however a thing such as thinking too highly of yourself, being too self absorbed or being too high maintenance. (not saying its all you, just saying its possible). If you think in your mind that the problems boil down to your looks, you are mistaken. As long as you are a good person who treats people well, there is no reason for you to be held back. As for your ex, I doubt it has to do with your looks..guys just don't deal with those situations well, and he obviously didn't.

[Juxtapoz]

I can't wait for my looks to fade...

 

Seriously? I've never heard anyone say that.

 

I don't want to be rude, but I have a hard time feeling sorry for you. Own what you have, be proud of it, but don't let it be the center of your life. Because when your looks DO fade, you're going to be lacking the most important thing--your sense of self.

[BellaStranger]

I don't feel like iv made my point particuarly well here! I don't feel that my attention to my looks or self confidence issues are particuarly different to 90% of other women out there. We all care about how we look and how we are percieved by others! I wouldn't believe anyone who said they didn't!

 

Iv been blessed with not being ugly. I just happen to believe it hasn't done me any favors! I don't think more about looks than personality, I'm not afraid to be ugly, if I was then I wouldn't go to festivals every year! This was just a passing thought about how looks can affect the way you are treated.... Not the one great obsession of my life!! I was just looking for other peoples thoughts and own experiences... Not a character analysis based on a thought!

[geekgirl4]

But it does kind of boil down to character analysis in the end anyways. You say guys idealize your looks, well, it could be you're letting them idealize your looks? Or another possibility, you are hanging around or attracting guys who idealize your looks? Either way, if you want something to change, it has to be you.

 

It's frustrating to think people aren't understanding what you're saying, but how you are putting forth what you think is what is making all us posters think the same thing. This can be something to consider, perhaps how you project yourself to guys might sometimes give them the wrong idea about you, just like how you are trying to explain what you're asking is giving all us the wrong idea of what you're trying to say. Just a thought.

[Juxtapoz]

If I try and think about the prettiest girls I've ever seen or known in my life, the ones who instantly seem to come up first are girls I'm close to, friends of mine with outstanding qualities, ones who aren't driven by their looks and some are so unaware of it that that makes them even more beautiful. Physical beauty, when standing alone, only resonates for a few minutes before what's inside takes over and morphs the way I see them. I don't think I'm alone in this idea. It's absolutely the same with how I see guys.

 

For example, I met this dude last year, in a group i stayed with for a month, who was a spittin' image of Gael Garcia Bernal. GGB is talented and gorgeous, has tons of sex appeal. After 10 minutes of talking to this kid, discovered he was a pompous philosophy major eager to drag anyone into a political debate, bragged about a time he had sex with a girl while he had a moustache (because, you know, how cool is that that he had a moustache? it's like he was starring in his own porn) and was so low on the self-confidence scale that he followed around this girl like a sick puppy while she lapped the attention and treated him like crap. Now I can't even compare him to Gael Garcia Bernal, in fact, when I picture his face it grosses me out. Especially with a moustache.

 

so, all in all, even if you're a 10, it might get you in the door but it's only going to last the first few minutes, or seconds before you start talking and opening the doors to what's really going on inside. for every action is a reaction, just like how people respond to what you project.

[sigmond freud]

In my experience...the old lyric.."she ain't pretty, she just looks that way" always seems to ring true. Very few beautiful woman on the outside are beautiful on the inside...

[sigmond freud]

................

[Thx]

I think I can kind of understand where the OP is coming from here. (Even though my looks are probably pretty average. lol)

 

But think, how often do guys see an attractive blond and assume she must be an air-head?

 

Maybe she is at a funeral or something and gets hit up on...

 

People in this society are likely to peg someone based on their looks. (What else is there before communicating?)

 

For instance, don a pair of horn-rimmed glasses and see how intellectual you have suddenly become.

 

People make assumptions by looks, always have, always will.

 

Some girls have trouble dating because guys are intimidated by their looks and figure they will have no chance.

 

Good looking people have their troubles too.

 

There is a great tendency to want to say tone your looks down if you feel like they are such a problem, but unless you are an extremely flamboyant dresser I wouldn't change my routine.

 

Look at it this way, your looks can serve you by exposing the guys who are just after one thing.

 

I really don't have any good advice, this is something I don't think anything can be done about and you to remain as you like to be.

 

Everyone has a cross to bear in this life, yours happens to be good looks and an assumptive society.

 

Thx

[absinthe]

I don't feel like iv made my point particuarly well here! I don't feel that my attention to my looks or self confidence issues are particuarly different to 90% of other women out there. We all care about how we look and how we are percieved by others! I wouldn't believe anyone who said they didn't!

 

Iv been blessed with not being ugly. I just happen to believe it hasn't done me any favors! I don't think more about looks than personality, I'm not afraid to be ugly, if I was then I wouldn't go to festivals every year! This was just a passing thought about how looks can affect the way you are treated.... Not the one great obsession of my life!! I was just looking for other peoples thoughts and own experiences... Not a character analysis based on a thought!

Bella, I shared with you my experiences of how to overcome this issue. It does suck to know that you're nothing but a trophy/object to be acquired. That's why it's important to build from the inside-out, so you know both intellectually and more importantly, emotionally, that you're worth more than your outter shell.

When these problems start to show themselves through my facade of beauty and confidence, I become instantly less attractive to them.

Does my earlier advice make more sense to you?

 

But also, as previously expressed, you're going to have to learn to sift through the chaff (superficial guys) to find the wheat (solid men) but without self-improvement from the inside, the solid men aren't going to stick around.