kitten87 Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 I have trust issue and security issues. My boyfriend has never done anything to lose my trust, and he is always honest with me. When he goes out I know, when he gets back I know, who he goes out with, I know… and he calls and tells me these things of his own free will. However, I always act irrationally and practically interrogate him… especially when it comes to him being out with girls (in large groups). I am told I am a pretty girl, and my boyfriend tells me all the time that I am beautiful and loves me more than anything, but I still feel so insecure. I keep thinking he’s going to get a little tipsy and things will happen… even though in the four years we’ve been together I’ve never known him once to become flirtatious or promiscuous when drunk, and he’s never done anything to justify my fears. I try to justify them by saying “I don’t trust her, I trust him.” But even as those words come out, I know that if that was true, I would trust my boyfriend to tell the girl that he’s got a girlfriend and isn’t interested. I also don’t like it when he goes out with his guys because I don’t trust his friends at all. I hate when they go out because I fear they’re going to take him somewhere (like a strip club) and things will happen. Even though my boyfriend says he wouldn’t go to a strip club, never has been, and doesn’t plan on going, I still worry about these things. When he’s out I am always afraid he’s looking at girls wishing he had that, and that he’ll leave me. Like I said, I have severe security issues. I’m not bad looking – I just feel plain. Average. Which isn’t bad – I guess, but there are a lot of beautiful women out there and my guy is way above average – smart, handsome, great job, owns his own home, talented, etc. – so I know he’s a great guy. And that is why my issues bother me so much. I want to be able to just relax when I am at home and he is away on business trips, and not worry about something that isn’t going to happen. However, I have that nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me “something could happen!” I know a lot of people would say “if you don’t trust him, break up with him” but that isn’t what I want. He isn’t an untrustworthy person… the problem is solely with me. I just cannot trust anyone. Not even my parents – who, like my boyfriend, have never done anything to lose my trust. I have a problem and have no way of fixing it. I don’t want to be this type of person, and telling myself I am going to change isn’t working. I try, oh I try, but that nagging voice won’t go away. Please help. I am afraid if I don’t get this trust and security thing under control I am going to lose everyone important to me and be alone, and while I have trust issues, I hate being alone. Link to comment
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