finding it hard to meet that special someone

[ebik]

This is all new to me and I just dont really know what im doing!

 

I broke it off with my 1st love and 4.5 yr relationship 10 mths ago.

In this 10 mths i have gone on a few dates, pashed a few random guys and fooled around a bit at bars, had a casual thing with a guy that lasted all up about 5mths and since then not a lot of action. I have only slept with one guy since my ex (the one i was seeing for 5 mths) and 4 guys altogether in my life (im 25.) Nothing much has been happening in the last 7 or 8 weeks and i'm starting to feel lonley, frustrated, in need for affection, intimacy and just someone to connect with.

 

Im starting to get over going out to bars/clubs as most of the guys i meet are drunken, obnoxious losers, who have no respect for women. I tryed the online dating thing (thats how i met the last guy i was seeing) but i just dont know what approach i should have.

 

Deep down i know i want a relationship, but only once i meet the right person. So in the mean time, should i just go with the flow and go on as many dates as i can? it just seems like most guys only want s*x! but then i think, well i am no prude, i like it too, maybe i should just have fun, fool around, maybe find a 'friend with benifits' and when i meet the right person then i will know. my problem is though, i have never done that before, im shy at 1st and dont know how behave in order to get to that point. I have been told i am very attractive, but i am also sometimes 'one of the boys' as i have always had guy friends, so i think i go on dates and maybe i act more like a friend than anything else. but is there a probem with that? am i going about things all wrong??

[flow2000]

I understand how you feel. I am in a very similar situation. I feel like I am done binge dating girls and living life through one night stands. I have had only three long relationships and I was a happier person when I was in that situation.

 

Be much nicer to have a real relationship. S*x is one thing but nothing seems nicer at times than having someone to share a moment with, go out for a nice dinner or hold hands and enjoy the sunset.

[ghost69]

sorry you feel so down about that. i'm 31 and single. all i meet are younger girls it seems. i'm cool with that, but i also miss having someone there all the time. but i'm not going to be with someone unless i'm completely into them. if it takes forever and i don't end up with anyone, so be it. at least i gave it my best shot. but i will not settle or sacrifice my happiness just to have someone.

[valenski]

I would never recommend a life of promiscuity, its probably more dangerous than skydiving. Sometimes you have to change your old habits and hangouts, I say dont spend all your time looking for "the right person", enjoy life and maybe along the way you'll find someone the enjoy it with.