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Easy question for the non socially inept


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So I've been on three dates with a great girl, over the course of three weeks (the first date was short, so maybe 2.5). The conversation has been really great the entire time, with lots of smiling, laughing, and small amounts of physical contact. At the end of the second date, she initiated a quick kiss (a first for me for a woman to do this), and I did likewise on the third. Both ended with good vibes and flirty voice tone.


My problem is I don't really know what to do next. I'm in my late twenties but not very experienced in dating. The only woman I've been out with more than once was my ex-girlfriend (and she was immature and made things way too easy for me). This girl is quite outgoing and keeps a busy schedule, so I'm afraid of pushing too hard and wanting to see her more often. I'm a little intimidated by how outgoing and active she is. On the other hand, I don't want her to think I'm uninterested by waiting too long, or because I'm more reserved physically. I don't know if seeing someone once a week is too slow, or too fast for some people, or what.


I'm fine if nothing more serious comes from this, but don't want it to be because I'm clueless about how to progress. Basically I just want to hear "you're doing fine, keep it up", or "step up your game, son!" Thanks.

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No two relationships are the same, I hate to say. The pace is different, the dates are different, the chemistry is different, et cetera.


My first girlfriend and I dated for 5 months. We went on a lot of inexpensive dates, mainly because we didn't have time in our schedules to go on trips (or even have the money to do much more than have lunch or dinner or whatever). However, I began sleeping at her house 2 weeks after we began dating. I spent 1-2 days a week with her, sleeping over at least one night a week, often two. We watched movies, cuddled up, talked, and had sex on a regular basis (after about 2 months). Beautiful relationship, but we didn't have much in common.


My ex and I dated for about a month and I never once slept over at her house, but we saw each other at least 3 times a week, hanging out regularly, since we were students at the same small school. She was much more affectionate than my first girlfriend. However, we did not have sex once. Most of our dates were lunch or happy hour. Went to her house once.


I am not socially inept. Both of these relationships were grand, and ended on amicable terms. The last relationship, of course, was not quite as serious. We only dated for a month and we are actually establishing friendship again only a week after breaking up.


Anyway, if you want to progress, suggest you do something new. Like, let her know that you're interested in watching a movie at her place or something. My first girl asked ME to spend the night. Whereas the last girl, I asked HER if I could. The next girl/woman I meet, who knows. Get more affectionate with her. Hang out at a park on a bench and cuddle up and talk. I don't know, do whatever allows you to be yourself.

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I think you are doing fine. Once a week seems pretty reasonable at this stage. If things keep progressing I think she will naturally start to make more time for you.


But I agree every relationship is different and you will have to trust your best judgment with this girl. Good luck.

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Thanks for the replies. I'll stay the course but keep advancing.


Part of my problem is that my best judgement is wracked with anxiety. At the end of our last date, she initiated a hug. I responded by pretty much demanding a kiss with my body language, and she obliged. She then smiled shyly, giggled a bit, and implied that I smelled nice. When I write it out it all sounds pretty good and makes me think I'm being an idiot... but at the time I felt like I needed more reassurance and that I might be forcing things.

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I would say it's time to get more physical, but that's probably my own desire talking! I'd also say the fact that she initiated the first kiss shows that's what she wants too!


obs has already mentioned an easy way for you to find out. Sounds like date 4 to me! Have fun!

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