fireside Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Long story made short: Dated for 6.5 years He cheated on me I made a nasty website about him and his cheating ways which he found out (family wasn’t happy either) No communication for 2.5 years He contacted me after she cheated on him and they broke up We’d contact each other daily and hung out on some weekends I cut communication for 6 months because I was scared I started to talk to him again We’d contact each other daily and hung out on some weekends He decides he’ll do the same by cutting communication with me for 6 months because “I did it to him” (he says he going through stuff, maybe his ex contacted him again) And this would be an email I’d like to send him (because I’m hurt and I was starting to fall in love with him again): I care for you. All my best wishes on what you have ahead of you. You don’t deserve my friendship. I owe you nothing. You have the nerve saying vindictive things that I do not deserve. Stop being mean to me and treat me nicely. Until then, you are on your own. For whatever space you need, it’s not worth anything in my book. You won’t understand until you take full responsibility for what you did to me. You’ll figure it out. I’ve seen how you’ve grown and I am truly amazed. Thank you for giving me hope that I can love again. Because of you, I am learning how to put my walls down again to let someone in. I wish it was you. If it’s not you, hopefully someone else will notice. I think this is waaaay to much drama for my liking. What to do, what to do? I am feeling very emotional right now. Whatever it is, it needs to go away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ay0_x Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Don't send him that email. You're leaving a little gap he can sneak back through by doing it. Don't give him that power over you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fireside Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 Don't send him that email. You're leaving a little gap he can sneak back through by doing it. Don't give him that power over you. I think you're right. It will open up a communication line of sorts. But maybe that's what I want from him. yea, i'm broken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 how about: "Ex - don't ever contact me again. I will not contact you either. Goodbye." sounds like you guys have TONS of drama. walk away from it for good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fireside Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 how about: "Ex - don't ever contact me again. I will not contact you either. Goodbye." sounds like you guys have TONS of drama. walk away from it for good. i would love to do that! the details are such a nuisance. i have a lot to pour out though. i *feel* like he should know the everything. the letter is a condensed letter from the original. i'm bad at this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 you can pour it out to yourself. write it in a diary or on here. the thing is, like the other poster said, then he can write back with his own version of things, and that just opens up the door to the conversation again. if you want to move on, just make a clean break and say it's over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 The guy puts you through a meat grinder, and you tell him to be 'nice' to you again? Please don't send that. Don't you deserve to be in love with someone who's equally nuts about you? I'd cut all ties and start moving toward a future state when you'll look back on this guy as barely memorable because you'll be too happy and glad you moved on. In order to get there, you'll need to grieve and allow yourself as long as that takes. But in order to do that, you'll need to quit the false hope that this guy could ever redeem himself. How can he, when he's disloyal? You deserve better, and you know it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lastchallenge Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Why can't I find a girl like this! Damn all I find are immature 25 year olds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fireside Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 you can pour it out to yourself. write it in a diary or on here. the thing is, like the other poster said, then he can write back with his own version of things, and that just opens up the door to the conversation again. if you want to move on, just make a clean break and say it's over. I recreated an intentional dejavu. argh. I've written on pieces of paper and threw it out. That was how I endured the first heartbreak. oh and he's not the type to write back. he just ignores. i'll never know what he feels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fireside Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 The guy puts you through a meat grinder, and you tell him to be 'nice' to you again? Please don't send that. Don't you deserve to be in love with someone who's equally nuts about you? I'd cut all ties and start moving toward a future state when you'll look back on this guy as barely memorable because you'll be too happy and glad you moved on. In order to get there, you'll need to grieve and allow yourself as long as that takes. But in order to do that, you'll need to quit the false hope that this guy could ever redeem himself. How can he, when he's disloyal? You deserve better, and you know it. I do know that there is someone else who will equally give me back the love. But he was my first love. I don't know how I'll love someone like I love(d) him. I've dated a few people and unconsciously compare them to him, in both good and bad ways. sigh... here i go for round 3 in the dating scene. I should know better... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fireside Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 Why can't I find a girl like this! Damn all I find are immature 25 year olds If I send this letter out, he'll tell me I'm immature and a drama queen for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fireside Posted May 11, 2010 Author Share Posted May 11, 2010 and because I'm feeling a little more dramatic, I wrote "him" another letter. I didn't send the first letter and I'm not sending this one to him either. I figured I'd use ena as an emotional outlet. It’s understandable that you’ve been fast to judge me. The woman you left me for and which whom you thought would not judge you did a great job at destroying your view of women. For example, you quickly assumed about the guy in Vermont was someone I was, ummm, not sure what you were thinking. Were you not quick to assume and should you have asked me how my weekend went, then you would’ve known what the situation was. Then there was the issue of my little break from any contact from you. You assumed that I was out and about with some guys. For your information, I was distancing myself from you because we were getting too close. Of course it hurt me to see your messages and calls unanswered. I made myself unavailable to every guy because I was afraid to get hurt. Ultimately, I’m never to trust any of your species because of you. I then realized how that was not going to solve anything so I contacted you again after a while, unbeknownst to me while you were in Vegas with another woman. That was a shocker. But that was your deal. Who knew that while I’m trying to solve my case of distrust that I would get some lessons from you -- that I can open my heart to anyone because I was willing to open up again to the guy who broke my heart. I don’t regret becoming friends with you after all that was done. We were both broken and unable to quickly trust. I’m moving along ever so slowly. I hope you find yourself whole again and share it with someone special. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fireside Posted May 14, 2010 Author Share Posted May 14, 2010 my emotions are going for a roller coaster ride. the rickety type one that needs to be dismantled, almost like the cyclone at coney island. it doesn't feel safe but it's part of history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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