hater13 Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 OK so it's officially been a month since I broke all contact with my ex. We spoke for about a week after the break up and that's about it. So today I went back on facebook, I checked his profile after a while, and of course he was still on my friends list. I wrote on one of our mutual friends wall quite a few times today after quite a while. I went to check his profile again...and I saw that he had deleted me as a friend..... So I ask. WHY NOW?! Why after over a month?! He practically begged me for the first few days of the break up to continue speaking to him, and to still be friends... what the hell is up with this guy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrenchFries Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Maybe seeing you active on facebook struck a nerve with him since you aren't speaking right now. There's really no point in staying facebook friends. I don't really understand the anger here. Weren't you the one who initiated NC? Maybe he didn't even realize you two were still friends until you posted. It makes sense that the first few days of the breakup he was still trying to talk to you. Maybe after a month of NC he's over keeping in touch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolchick64 Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 I hate Facebook. Guess it's safe to say he's not interested in being friends anymore. Could mean he met someone else and he's hiding it from you (that happened to me). Could mean he's upset about the NC and doesn't like seeing your posts. Maybe he's trying to rattle your cage and get you to respond??? Hard to say. Whatever it is, it may be all for the best. You don't really want to see pictures of him with other women, do you? The longer the break up sticks, the more likely FB will hurt and betray you. Maybe you should thank him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie274 Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 It's possible that he's just trying to rub salt in the wound, but it's also possible that seeing on facebook struck a nerve and he realized he would rather not be facebook friends. I'm sorry - I know how much it can hurt when your ex just cuts you out. But I think this will be a blessing in disguise for you: you no longer have to check his profile and wonder who that girl is whose wall he's posting on, or who that girl whom he is in pictures with is, but you also didn't have to be the "bad-guy" and de-friend him. It's my experience it's extraordinarily rare for exes to actually be able to become friends (unless it's after a long cooling off period), but if you want to be friends, you can be friends. Facebook has little to do with that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hater13 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 I hate Facebook. Guess it's safe to say he's not interested in being friends anymore. Could mean he met someone else and he's hiding it from you (that happened to me). Could mean he's upset about the NC and doesn't like seeing your posts. Maybe he's trying to rattle your cage and get you to respond??? Hard to say. Whatever it is, it may be all for the best. You don't really want to see pictures of him with other women, do you? The longer the break up sticks, the more likely FB will hurt and betray you. Maybe you should thank him! he's not the type to post facebook pictures of him with girls. I know for a fact he hasn't moved on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hater13 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 Maybe seeing you active on facebook struck a nerve with him since you aren't speaking right now. There's really no point in staying facebook friends. I don't really understand the anger here. Weren't you the one who initiated NC? Maybe he didn't even realize you two were still friends until you posted. It makes sense that the first few days of the breakup he was still trying to talk to you. Maybe after a month of NC he's over keeping in touch. I was going to defriend him long ago, I deactivated right after the break up for quite a while and reactivated 10 or so days ago. I just find it odd...why now of all times. It's been so long..he should be over it by now afterall he was the dumper. I kept him on my friends list because honestly I didn't mind having him there, looking at his wall posts no longer bothered me like it used to BUT this struck me. what a jerk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrenchFries Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Well it may just be that it bothered him, ya know? We'll never really know why, but try not to get too worked up over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie274 Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 I was going to defriend him long ago, I deactivated right after the break up for quite a while and reactivated 10 or so days ago. I just find it odd...why now of all times. It's been so long..he should be over it by now afterall he was the dumper. I kept him on my friends list because honestly I didn't mind having him there, looking at his wall posts no longer bothered me like it used to BUT this struck me. what a jerk It's only been a bit over a month since you broke up though, right? I don't know how long you two were together, but that's quite a short amount of time to get over someone. I completely understands why this irritates you (I imagine there's an element of "How dare he?! He defriended ME?! If anything he wasn't worthy of still being friends with me, not the other way around"), but I don't think you can read too much into it. You'll never know why it happened and you can drive yourself mad trying to figure out. I really think you should just take it as him doing you a favor. By the way, I assume you're sure he de-friended you and didn't just deactivate his facebook or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Maybe because you deactivated your profile for a while he thought that you had deleted and blocked him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hater13 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 It's only been a bit over a month since you broke up though, right? I don't know how long you two were together, but that's quite a short amount of time to get over someone. I completely understands why this irritates you (I imagine there's an element of "How dare he?! He defriended ME?! If anything he wasn't worthy of still being friends with me, not the other way around"), but I don't think you can read too much into it. You'll never know why it happened and you can drive yourself mad trying to figure out. I really think you should just take it as him doing you a favor. By the way, I assume you're sure he de-friended you and didn't just deactivate his facebook or something? we were only together for 4 months. which is why I find this odd...such drama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JusticeLaw9 Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 OK so it's officially been a month since I broke all contact with my ex. We spoke for about a week after the break up and that's about it. So today I went back on facebook, I checked his profile after a while, and of course he was still on my friends list. I wrote on one of our mutual friends wall quite a few times today after quite a while. I went to check his profile again...and I saw that he had deleted me as a friend..... So I ask. WHY NOW?! Why after over a month?! He practically begged me for the first few days of the break up to continue speaking to him, and to still be friends... what the hell is up with this guy? When you've broke up, you've broke up; don't go looking for trouble by searching for him, looking at his pictures or posting on mutual friends pages that you know he'll see and eventually access. Be done with it and move on, because this is the kind of stuff that usually keep people from moving on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hater13 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 It's only been a bit over a month since you broke up though, right? I don't know how long you two were together, but that's quite a short amount of time to get over someone. I completely understands why this irritates you (I imagine there's an element of "How dare he?! He defriended ME?! If anything he wasn't worthy of still being friends with me, not the other way around"), but I don't think you can read too much into it. You'll never know why it happened and you can drive yourself mad trying to figure out. I really think you should just take it as him doing you a favor. By the way, I assume you're sure he de-friended you and didn't just deactivate his facebook or something? yes i'm am positive he defriended me because I checked if he was still friends with my mutual friends and he is.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hater13 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 When you've broke up, you've broke up; don't go looking for trouble by searching for him, looking at his pictures or posting on mutual friends pages that you know he'll see and eventually access. Be done with it and move on, because this is the kind of stuff that usually keep people from moving on. our mutual friend is my best friend and she is a female, so there is no element of jealousy there. I don't write on many people's walls just hers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jellysandwich Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Quick q, who initiated the breakup? You or him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hater13 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 Quick q, who initiated the breakup? You or him? he did, but he was waiting for me to break up. it was coming for a while, I broke up with him in between but his sensitivity lead me to stay with him. But the drama of this break up is just annoying me..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jellysandwich Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 he did, but he was waiting for me to break up. it was coming for a while, I broke up with him in between but his sensitivity lead me to stay with him. But the drama of this break up is just annoying me..... Hehe, your situation is very similar to mine. I was in a a 14 month relationship, 11 LDR but only 3 together. Near the end, she tried to manipulate me by offering to let me date other girls, but I would never fall for that. Anyway, she eventually broke up me slightly more than a month ago, and then made out with another guy within days (big deal because we are both traditional conservative Asians). A few weeks later, I found out she had the nerve to be angry at me. Angry! After breaking my heart, TWICE, you'd think it would be the other way around right? And then last week, she became sad because I canceled the trip to go visit her, "as friends", and has since started NC. Again, something you would expect the dumpee (me) to do. The point is, people act irrationally after breaking up. They can't control their emotions, so don't worry about them or judge them. Just let it go. You seem to be at the same point as me though, pretty much over the ex. Why are you letting this facebook thing get to you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hater13 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 Yea it seems very similar. Ahah we are both of Asian descent as well. I really don't know what my ex has been up to and neither so I care. I am pretty much over him but it seems he's having a harder time with this then I am. Afterall I really don't care who posts on his wall and what they write lol! Checking it didn't set me back at all, but I guess seeing my recent activity did :S I don't know he's been acting very immaturely since the break up. It's like he's finding every possible way he can to annoy/ upset me but there is NO way I'm going to contact him now. If he wants to get back together then he'll have to initiate contact himself. Why can't people just handle these situations like adults.... I guess going nc and actually going through with it annoyed him :S made him feel like he was no longer 'in control' as the dumpee. I'm interpreting this as his last pathetic way to get a rise out of me, get some attention ( and possible contact so he can get an ego boost) and another huge possibility is he was checking my page too often and needed to remove me in order to stop. Whatever the reason he's acting more like the dumpee then the dumper... If I had ended things then I wouldn't care if he was on my friends list. What difference does it make? I should already be over that person... We only dated for 4 months anyway and it's been 1 month nc already. I find it funny that he defriended me exactly after 1 month.. To the day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hater13 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 Sorry for the spelling errors. I'm using my phone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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