An update on me....

[anders055]

Hello there.....long time no post

 

I just came accross a nice article and i think it would help many of you..

 

link removed

 

Excerpt:

There are 3 “phases” of grief: 1) shock and denial, 2) great emotion, 3) acceptance, reorganization and integration. The bulk of grief work is done in the middle phase which is where all the emotional turmoil takes place.

 

For me, i think i go through all of the phases randomly. Its been 1.5 years and i can still feel the shock of what happened although I've fully accepted it...and that's why I'm in 1 year of NC and counting.

 

Unfortunately, acceptance for me has meant not only getting over her but also not looking forward to any future relationships. I really don't feel like being in a relationship again. My ex, who i was extremely fond of and close to, kind of behaved like a sl_ut during the last year of our relationship and screwed all wonderful moments i had.

 

I don't see being in love as something great to do anymore. Thank god for that.

[Etoile]

Hi

 

Thanks for the link - what a great article! I can identify with every one of the emotions of the breakup listed. It's nice to feel that I'm normal and not some crazy woman!

 

I was in the shock phase for at least a month and a half after my breakup. I'm definitely in phase II now but like you I seem to go through the different emotions in this phase randomly every day.

 

I'm only 2 months post break up from a 2 1/2 year relationship so I really don't feel like dating anyone else for a long time. My ex left me for someone else so I can relate to what you say about not looking forward to future relationships because of the bad memories at the end tainting everything about the relationship. I'm also scared to trust anyone. He deceived me. But I do know just because my ex behaved this way doesn't mean all men are the same. Likewise most women will never behave like your ex did. I hope that one day you will feel better about falling in love.

[nanana]

Thank you for posting this link, makes me feel like what I'm feeling is a bit more normal. However it's been two months and I still find myself going back and forth between these

phases. Just when I think I'm getting there, I go backwards again! Still a little bit in denial.

 

The bit about guilt definitely helped. I suffer from that most. I need to stop

obsessing and realise not only that he isn't coming back, but also that's it's a very very good thing he isn't coming back. Because he pretty much obliterated my self esteem with emotional abuse.

[Carus]

For me, i think i go through all of the phases randomly. Its been 1.5 years and i can still feel the shock of what happened although I've fully accepted it...and that's why I'm in 1 year of NC and counting.

Ditto.....and thanx for the reminder....

 

K2*

[AutumnBorn]

Anders, I don't want to be in love again, either. Love murdered the person I used to be. Why would I subject myself to that again?

 

My ex would have preferred anyone over me, so I decided he could have anyone but me and divorced him. Somehow he's happier now, looking for the fairy princess he imagines is out there. I am the living dead, an emotional zombie.