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My Wife thinks im cheating !


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What ever misssss. You dont know me and i am not blaming everybody, i am wrong and i know it. What more can i say. I am not a bad man. I havnt cheated on my wife.


But you are planning too ... and although you feel stuck in an unhappy marriage an affair is NOT the answer. The answer is to sort the marriage out one way or the other. If that means by ending it then so be it. What you need is to give yourself a huge kick up the butt and start the ball rolling.

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Agree with what all the other commentators have said, you're making excuses mate. You sound like you're trying to get our 'permission' to commit your bad deed. If you want to go out and have an affair just do it. You're the one who has to deal with the repercussions at the end of the day - not any of us.


What made me take notice of this thread is the fact that there are some bizarre similarities to my last relationship. My ex, like you was married - though he didn't reveal this to me when we first started seeing each other. Obviously I was really upset when I found out but foolishly carried on seeing him as I believed his nonsense about his marriage being over - he said all the same things you've said. His wife was from a different country, didn't understand him, treated him badly, blah, blah, blah... Anyway it all ended badly (of course it did - and I knew it would). You know who I felt sorry for though at the end of the day - his wife.


For all I know he could have been lying about all the stuff he told me about her and have been the kind of guy that had serial affairs. Maybe. But even so, my ex didn't have the balls to leave a relationship that he knew (or at least said) wasn't working and hadn't been for a long time. He told me the only reason he married her was to keep her in the country - that he never actually would have married her otherwise. Again I know this could have been a lie... but anyway.


I feel guilty for the part I played particularly because I knew we had no future. However he was the one that really suffered repercussions - he went back to his wife to try and make a go of it. I kind of hope they sorted it out but wouldn't be at all surprised if he's seeing other people again, justifying it to himself just like you are...


Just make a clean break - you owe it to yourself AND to her.

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I think that the best course of action is to file for divorce. You are evidently unhappy and I suppose you made a bad choice of spouse. It happens. So, a clean break would be healthiest in these circumstances. Leave others out of it until you conclude the procedings.

I note that you live in the U.K. Divorce proceedings are not that complicated here, (I am assuming you have no children). There are law firms specialising in divorce, and fees are reasonable in many cases. And then there is legal aid.


I agree Alfie:


but shouting at me in front of my freinds, trying to break my things etc is not on in my eyes.


It is decision time. Not easy, but it looks like your marriage is going nowhere.



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