May032010Sucks Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 So after reading through some of these threads I feel slightly relieved to know that there are people to empathize with me and can genuinely give first hand advice; not that I ever doubted there were people experiencing the same situation as I. As you can tell by my SN that yesterday was the first day of the separation. I find it difficult to find the strength to pass through the daily motions of life. I was engaged for 8 months and was about to step into a life with her and it all ceased to exist abruptly. I'm know I'm being very vague, however, even writing this post is challenging. I ended up drowning my emotions with alcohol to numb the heartache. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an alcoholic but it was irresistible last night. I really pushed myself considering I'm not much of a drinker. Everyone tells me that I have to surround myself with family and friends and to occupy my time, however the only activity I want to participate in is couch reclining under my safety blanket. No, I don't really have a safety blanket, but if there ever was one right now would be a good time to own it. Where an I get a Snuggie??? I try to humor myself hoping that at least I can shrug off the pain or at the very least mask it with jokes. How does the radio know that I'm going through a breakup? Why does it taunt and tease me so much with it's heartbreak song and their incessant longing for a girl that doesn't love them? What did I ever do to my radio? Radio, please stop telling me you want to make love right now na na na... Right now if there isn't something to trigger memories, then the simple vast emptiness sets off a memory. How can this be? Damned if I do, and damned if she doesn't. Tomorrow will be T +2. I wonder at what point I'll realize I've made the right choice. Link to comment
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