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May 4th is the hardest day of the year for me...

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This was the best and worst day in our time together.


At this point we had been dating for 6 months or so.

I told her I had something for her and to meet me out by my car outside her house. It was just starting to get dark and when she came down I smiled and told her to wait. I held her in my arms and she asked what we were waiting for and I said for the stars to came out. They came out and the sky looked beautiful and thats when I handed her a poem I wrote. It was a poem about my past how I never felt love and would always be alone. I then tore it into little peices. I handed her,her favorite flowers and another item or two. Then I grabbed her tight and conffessed that I loved her. Despite the fact she looked back at me in tears (happy ones) her response was "part of me loves you too..I just need time". This later some what led to our end however that night was still beautiful to me. I wrote her a poem that night and then every month on the 4th of that month I added two lines to the poem and it was to last forever like my love for her. Things were great from there to be honest..at times it stung when she didnt say I love you back..however I tried to understand. But it was months and months later it started to get to me for whatever reason. She ended up leaving me for someone else and when we spoke post break up she mentioned I was always upset she didnt love me back as part of i guess why she chose the other guy.


Anyway..its the exact day 2 years later and I want to say something to her so bad..and I know shes expecting me to. But were not together and I dont exactly feel like celebrating unrequited love of an ex. Easy answer here is dont say anything but for some reason im struggling not to. Although then part of me wonders if she even realizes today is. I dont know.. But even post break up we still stayed friends (wasnt easy and things eventually changed drastic) but even as just friends we celebrated holidays together made eachother things on the holidays like easter baskets for easter. This however was the first easter she didnt make me anything and I asked her about it and she said she never even thought about it just didnt cross her mind. Shes gotten more distant and colder and usually only comes forth when I get distant. Sigh. I just have this urge to say something because for a few years may 4th was like a holiday to me..and at one point the day I thought my life would forever change and I would never feel alone...

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