How to not Hate?

[Mee-chelle]

I decided to delete this.

 

But I actually don't take anything from him.

[Honey Pumpkin]

I think you should get counselling, to be honest. So you can explore these feelings in a safe and honest way. I read your post in a couple of ways - I am not sure if he abused you to such an extent he has destroyed all trust that you have in him, or if you are being unreasonable/childish over imagined hurts. I think you need a safe space to work this out.

 

You do sound harsh, but I imagine there are reasons. However, do you have to stay with him? I find it odd to be taking money/advantage over someone you hate so much, it's like entitlement without commitment. In a bizarre way, I do hope he has acted unforgiveably towards you, because your behaviour is very cold - the dumping him at hospital when he was ill etc. But you know your reasons for this. Like I said, I think you need help to explore the conflicting emotions.

[Citlali]

Well, I agree that you need to get counseling. You need to find a way to deal with these feelings and find peace. It's not a good thing to hate, even someone who has hurt you so much, because it just consumes you and makes you a bitter, miserable person. I think I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt about why you are treating him like that. I imagine he must have done some pretty horrifying things to you. If so, I can understand that it would be difficult to care. Nevertheless, you still have to deal with those feelings, even if you can't forgive him now. Or maybe try to make peace before he goes. Whatever it is you do and whenever you do it, you need to do it, period, or you won't be able to move on in your life and these issues will haunt you and negatively affect you.