Love, sex, long distance and age gap!

[mia616]

So the story is this. I studied in Spain almost 4 years ago and met a guy while there. He was the first person I had ever slept with. We spent a lot of time together while I was there, and got along well, have similar interests, etc.

He is 14 years older than me. I was 20 at the time, and he was 34.

 

I left to go back to school in the U.S. he has a good job there and we decided we would keep in contact. When I came back we still kept in contact, talked on the phone, email, chat. He then found a g/f there in Spain. When he told me about it I was upset but obviously nothing I could do. About 8 months after he found his g/f I met a guy and we dated for 2 years. We recently jsut broke up and he broke up his g/f a few months before that. We decided to meet up again and he came over here to the U.S. to visit me. We went on a vacation for 10 days together and again it was fabulous being with him, and we just have this chemistry together. He met my friends and family and they liked him.

 

He left to go home last week and of course it was sad. I told him I would go there this Summer to see him. Now that we are apart though it is very hard. He even said things like he would get a job here for a little while, and tells me things like that. He said he thinks that I put him up on this pedestal when he is just a normal guy.

 

I don't know if I am just wasting my time. I can't seem to stop thinking about him and I do love him. Do you think I should keep contacting him or no? I don't know how to stop loving him.

[annie24]

has he expressed an interest in getting back together? is he still living in spain?

[Fudgie]

He said he thinks that I put him up on this pedestal when he is just a normal guy.

.

 

Is this true?

 

You haven't seen each other in years, right? He was the first guy you slept with and he's older. I'm in an age gap relationship myself and while I won't say that it's always the case, I do notice that in some gap relationships, the younger person may put the older one on a pedestal.

 

You need to make sure you're not setting too-high expectations.

[mia616]

Yes he is still in Spain.

 

I think I may put him on a pedestal a bit. No we hadn't seen each other in 3 years since last week. We had kept in contact however.

 

I know he is not perfect, but I feel like to me he is.