winchester3 Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 My little cousin brought one of his friends over and she took a liking to me. Whats an appropriate age gap for the younger years? I remember when i was in high school and one of my lady friends was bragging about her 20 year old boyfriend. I was like "Damn, what a loser to be dating a chick still in high school". I'm on the receiving end of this now, shes been chasing me for a bit and is still in high school. She's nice and all but doesn't turn 18 until October. Sure their only numbers but i feel like if we dated I'd feel like a cradle robber until she turned 18. This stigma on numbers, just feels creepy. I remember this guy i worked with from Quebec, he met his girlfriend on her graduating year. He was 24 at the time, from my understanding of things that's sort of the 'norm' in Quebec. It's all a little weird. Questions or comments? I need some more perspective on this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Well, I'm 20 and I'm involved in a 37ish year gap relationship, but that's me. I understand that it may not be comfortable for *most* people, and ya know...that's okay. Works for me. Personally, I would say whatever gap YOU are okay with is what "is okay" for your age, honestly. You'd feel uncomfortable (and rightfully so) if you went out with this girl now because she's underage, so why not just wait until she is 18 and legal? Bottom line: as long as both parties are 18+ and BOTH aren't weirded out by the gap, then why not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Wait until she's 18. Outside of that no set standard, though much older guys dating young girls is somewhat creepy to me (though I've done it). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Wait until she's 18. Outside of that no set standard, though much older guys dating young girls is somewhat creepy to me (though I've done it). *giggle* sorry but that's exactly what my mom likes to say. Mom: "Dating older men is creepy!" Me: "But you dated ALL your professors in college!" Mom: "GRRRRRR" *goes silent* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 *giggle* sorry but that's exactly what my mom likes to say. Mom: "Dating older men is creepy!" Me: "But you dated ALL your professors in college!" Mom: "GRRRRRR" *goes silent* Yeah it makes us hypocritical, but it's something people who've done it are often more judgemental. Maybe because many of the older guys only want hot sex with a young girl. However if it works for you, that's good too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winchester3 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 Yeah, i sort of want to tell her to come back in half a year. Nicely of course, I've never gone on a date with her or even gone out of my way to hang out with her. She's easy to read tho and has a huge crush on me, she has full woman features but that number 17. That's just, i dunno. Hard to wrap my head around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Yeah, you got that right. My mom had a couple of bad experiences so I guess it kind of coloured her perspective, which is totally understandable and natural. My boyfriend and I don't make love that often (maybe once a month) due to our low libidos but he made that very clear when we got together, and I was fine with it. Guess we are just a weird exception > Okay I'll hush now...Sorry OP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Yeah, i sort of want to tell her to come back in half a year. Nicely of course, I've never gone on a date with her or even gone out of my way to hang out with her. She's easy to read tho and has a huge crush on me, she has full woman features but that number 17. That's just, i dunno. Hard to wrap my head around. You could just tell her that you're not comfortable with dating her until she's 18. I mean, it's honest, and i can tell you any decent girl would be okay with that. You're just making sure that you won't get into trouble, you know? Why not just be friends and keep the spark there until she turns 18...and then go out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winchester3 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 It's not that I'm worried about getting in trouble. The more i think about dating her, the more i feel like a big creepy weirdo dating a girl still in high school. I don't have a spark with her, she's just a real nice person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 If you feel that way, then again, that's a sign that the age gap just isn't right at this time. But it'll be better when she's 18 right? Or will it still be weird because she won't graduate from highschool til that spring? You just need to do what makes you feel comfortable. There is no right/wrong in this. except doing sexual things with a minor. That's a no-no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winchester3 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 She graduates this year. If she would have lied and said she was 18 and just taking a victory lap at school. I could have been ok with it. Could ya help me with an easy let down? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Well, you COULD be honest with her. That's what I would do. But if you're not comfortable with that...hmm..okay. We need to think of an easy let-down. Does she know that you are single? You could conveniently "have just met someone". Just use the "busy" excuse until she gets the hint. Say you're "not able" to have a relationship right now due to work/time constraints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winchester3 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 I remember many girls saying to me "I WANT THE TRUTH!!!!" well more of a demand. I try to be honest, lieing is bad for my credibility. I'd much prefer the honest approach, but the blunt truth might hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winchester3 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 "I'm just not comfortable with the age gap, I'm sorry i just cant do this" She hasn't outright said that she wants to date me, but I'm worried she might ask me to her prom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Yes the truth hurts, but you're right...girls want it. You don't even have to mention the age gap. Just say that you're not comfortable because she's under 18. Boom. Point made. See, it shows that you're concerned about the law and such. If you bring up the "age gap" and how it's weird for you to date someone in high school, she may be offended - "What?! I'm not mature enough for you? I'm very mature!" So just stick with the "under 18" thing and you should be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winchester3 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 Under 18 is a pretty reasonable excuse. I'm sure she wont take it too bad. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Good luck, man. I'm sure she'll understand. I mean, it would be so silly of her to say "SO?!?!" or something like that. You can't argue with the law. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Sanguine- Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 My boyfriend felt the same way when we started dating.. I was 17 and he was 22. But he liked me enough and asked me to be his girlfriend. It did bother him alot, but he's gotten used to it and we are happy. We've been together for over a year and I'll be 19 this year Just thought I'd throw in a different perspective. Sometimes it works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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