Girlfriend's been getting a bit crazy lately... not sure what to make of it

[Bartok]

So I've been seeing this girl for half a year. Everything's great, until the past few weeks.

 

These past few weeks I've been swamped with schoolwork. I'm working on projects for graduate school. To give you an idea of how busy I am, yesterday I started working at 8AM and stopped at 3AM this morning, then woke up again at 8AM this morning to get right back at it. Due to the nature of what I do (film), there are occasionally times when I'm just completely swamped with work. This is one of those times. She knows this, and knows that things will clear up soon, but she's still being so... crazy.

 

I still try to see my girlfriend when I can - I've seen her three times this week despite barely having time for it, usually when I go out for lunch/dinner because I'm stepping away from my work anyway. She, however, is not handling it well.

 

She constantly complains about "hating this", referring to how we can't spend that much time together at the moment. She says she feels like she's the only one making any effort to see eachother - which is not only untrue, but completely unreasonable considering I was working 19 hours yesterday and simply cannot see her outside of meal breaks. She also feels she's the only one who tries to initiate contact (even though I text/facebook her off and on throughout the day, calling her when I have a few minutes, and I start the conversations at least as often as she does).

 

This is... concerning. She's been great so far, but recently she's been so whiny and needy. She acts like I need to make more time for her, when I simply cannot, and when I turn the tables and ask her to do something when she's busy, she does the exact same thing I'm doing now. Difference is, I understand and I'm cool with it because we're both busy people in school, while she whines and tries to blame me for everything.

 

I might be rambling now, but this is putting a huge strain on me. I have to get this project done tomorrow, this drama is hurting my work, and I just don't know how to tell her to... well... take a damn chill pill. I love her but she almost seems like a completely different person these past few weeks. Unreasonable, not laid-back, very different from the woman I fell in love with.

 

I'm hoping it's just a phase, but dear god, it's driving me insane right now. As if I don't have enough stress on my plate as it is.

[faithful14]

I think her erratic behavior will pass. She's only acting this way because she probably feels distant from not seeing you as much. I think it's really sweet that even with your schedule, you still make time to text her, call her, and spend time with her. I know a lot of guys who don't make that effort. Just let her know that once school is over and you have free time, you will hang out with her.

[FathomFear]

I'm hoping it's just a phase, but dear god, it's driving me insane right now. As if I don't have enough stress on my plate as it is.

 

Have you tried sitting down and having a rational conversation about this topic?

[eggplant47]

She should be more understanding... but let's hope her freak out is temporary and just stems from a fear of losing you.

 

You guys haven't been together too long, so to her this is new and upsetting and she has only your word that it's temporary. Hopefully, this will get easier the longer you two are together.

 

As a short term solution: it sounds like you work from home, is there any reason she couldn't be sitting on your couch reading a book or doing her own homework while you're working?

[misssmithviii]

While I can see both sides of the situation here, her blaming you and adding stress is only going to make you lose interest in spending time with her IMO.

 

If I were her, I'd make time in MY schedule since yours is most difficult to bend or rearrange. It's not that you're not trying, it's that it's simply less of an option for you. Sometimes people feel minimized when they have to go out of their way for their partner - IMO, it's dedication and selflessness.

 

Talk to her about it, and politely tell her that you're trying your best, and the way she's responding to your efforts is adding stress. Make sure you're not in a 'rambling mood' and that you're calm and collected - otherwise, she'll pick up on your stress and probably freak out even more.

 

Best wishes, and I hope you two work this out

[annie24]

i'd be annoyed to deal with someone who can't respect my need for some space. especially during the end of the semester! i think you should talk to her. why don't you make plans for a special date night, and maybe that will make her feel better? i'm tired, maybe i'm not explaining it well, but quality of time spent together i think is more important than quantity. ie, having a special night with her 1 time a week rather than 3 rushed lunches. or something like that.

 

good luck, hope you guys sort things out.