When does it end?

[anders055]

When will i finally get over the shock of the cheating and break up? When will i realize all there is to realize? Its been 1.5 years. I woke up in shock today because i thought of our last days of communication and the things she said. It has taken me months to dissect what she has truly done. I think i'll go insane. She has really screwed me. I just woke up from a nap 5 minutes ago.

 

I don't regret the one year, and counting, of NC, but i really wonder if i'll ever be able to get into another relationship again. I'm really starting to HATE women and i don't believe in love/relationship anymore.

[Mauxly]

I'm really starting to HATE women and i don't believe in love/relationship anymore.

 

Don't do this to yourself. If I can possibly refrain from hating an entire gender (after being cheated on by every man who's ever told me he's loved me) you can too.

 

Not every human is screwed up. But most of us are. Male and female. The trick isn't to hate, and not do disbelieve in love. The trick is to accept that most people are morally flawed, self centered to the point of self destruction. But not everyone is.

 

The trick is to redefine your definition of love. To keep an open heart and a cautions eye toward the other gender.

 

By the way, I'm pretty much lecturing myself on this one because it is hard for me too.

[arcadefire]

I've been in your shoes before. The pangs of betrayal and hurt from a cheating partner will never go away. It can definitely be mitigated when someone loving and caring walks into your life and melts your frozen heart, as my current bf has done for me. And eventually, you'll forget about it and move on, I promise you. But the way I see it, those type of experiences really gives you a glimpse on how people can treat others and makes you learn more about yourself and about maturity.

[ElectricSheep123]

I'm really starting to HATE women and i don't believe in love/relationship anymore.

 

I think I agree with you on this one. The psychological effects of my ex-boyfriend cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend (he was bisexual and in his first gay relationship with me) is greater than I imagined it would be.

 

I had some self-esteem issues before, and this just made it worse. I mean, this girl gave him something that I couldn't. He had to have liked it if he went back to her three times. I feel so used, so useless, so inadequate.

And it has screwed me up sexually. For weeks after I found out about it, I had no sex drive whatsoever. And every time I think of him or think of sex, the image of them screwing and moaning in bed flashes into my head, and it tears me up inside. I've been going to therapy, which hasn't really helped.

 

I lost 10 pounds in two weeks. I'm always tired and fatigued. Sometimes I get feelings of intense anger and hatred, where I think I want revenge on him (but how?) and for weeks I walked around campus praying that I'd run into the ex-gf who he cheated with.

 

He left me broken. He took my soul. And I'll never forgive him for that. Never. Chris, where ever you are, karma is a b***h, and I only pray that when it hits you, I'll be there to laugh in your face. You're a disgusting human being.