18 months..now this contact..

[jaylh25]

hi guys,

 

Ive not posted on here for a while, mainly becouse i'm doing a hell of a lot better these days. its 18 months now since my ex walked out of our house after 6 years for someone else and immediately moved in with him.

 

Throughout this time there has always been contact from her.. sometime weekly sometimes monthly...I was always curtious but nothing more. a few months back she sent me quite a long and emotional email one evening saying how much she missed me, loved me etc etc..i didnt really offer much back.. she is still with this guy so * * * right? Didnt hear a thing after that for 2 months then a few days ago I got another saying the same thing, how she had never stopped thinking about me, loved me, how sorry she was for what she did etc etc..

 

Funnily enough it was the day after id been out with someone for the first time who ive known for a while and really like..

 

Anyway, i guess why im posting is that I just dont get it. Ive been on these forums since we split and they are a great help. In my heart of heart, despite everything, i know i still have deep feelings for her. I know i shouldnt but i do but i am over the worst and her contact doesnt really bother me these days.. ive accepted its over but its just so frustrating trying to figure out whats going on in her head. I'm kinda thinking she just feels guilty for how she did things but to me if your 100% happy and loved up in your life, you dont send emails like this. I tried to ask her what she wanted, what this was all about, did she want to talk but i got zero back.. highly frustrating... thoughts guys?

[sigmond freud]

i think this is a case of the grass is greener on the other side of the fence...and yet again...once there ..it isnt...keep moving forward brother...remember the pain,...the hurt...

[jules813]

Extremely frustrating! Obviously I don't know much about the situation but it sounds like she's just being curious about where you're at. Personally, I'd be cautious about your interactions with her, especially if she is still with her current bf. I wish I could tell you what was going through her head, but for now I would say try not to read too far into it.

 

Good luck!

[jaylh25]

Extremely frustrating! Obviously I don't know much about the situation but it sounds like she's just being curious about where you're at. Personally, I'd be cautious about your interactions with her, especially if she is still with her current bf. I wish I could tell you what was going through her head, but for now I would say try not to read too far into it.

 

Good luck!

 

Yeah frustrating is the word. I just dont get it. I just wish she would come out and say whatever it is on her mind. For the frist time in a very long time i asked her did she want to talk and that message was just ignored.. says it all i guess. ](*,)

[jettison]

When I've been dumped, there's always been a period of demonizing that can last for any random length of time. Usually, it will last until she meets someone new, falls in love, falls out of love, and then is forced to deal with her issues and demons. Then, suddenly, you're back on even ground, and no longer the bad guy.

 

I feel like it's so important to always remember that anyone that can leave you can't possibly really know you, and therefore, it is good that they're leaving.... unless you've been a big jerk, and in that case, "that's what you get." ;-)

 

This letter? Eh. Do you love this woman? If you don't truly love her then take a pass. Don't just entertain yourself for the sake of curiosity.

[jaylh25]

When I've been dumped, there's always been a period of demonizing that can last for any random length of time. Usually, it will last until she meets someone new, falls in love, falls out of love, and then is forced to deal with her issues and demons. Then, suddenly, you're back on even ground, and no longer the bad guy.

 

I feel like it's so important to always remember that anyone that can leave you can't possibly really know you, and therefore, it is good that they're leaving.... unless you've been a big jerk, and in that case, "that's what you get." ;-)

 

This letter? Eh. Do you love this woman? If you don't truly love her then take a pass. Don't just entertain yourself for the sake of curiosity.

 

Ive just been moving on with my life and there are so many great things in my life now but hand on heart.. i know i still have very strong feelings for her. I accepted it was over a long time ago but when she sends me these messages it just frustrates me. She's been saying the same thing for a long time now but she has never made any attempt to do anything about these feelings.. she is still with her boyf so in my eyes there is nothing I can do about it i guess..

[pumpkinmoon]

I'd email her again and tell her not to send you such crap in the future. It's probably a bout of loneliness or similar. She may have had an argument with her bf and sends you these things to check if you are still around to fall back on. Tell her to get lost or just ignore her.

[Live-N-Learn]

Doesn't sound like either of you have been NC much these past 18 months post breakup. I would highly recommend it and disappear for the best. And I do mean forever.

[jaylh25]

Doesn't sound like either of you have been NC much these past 18 months post breakup. I would highly recommend it and disappear for the best. And I do mean forever.

 

Nope, i never initiate it.. she will go for a month or two then usually send me these kind of messages...as i say doesnt bother me that much these days and im happy to have the odd conversation to see how she's doing but for some reason the intensity of the content of what shes saying of late seems to have increased..