I think my boyfriend is lying to me

[SDAL]

This wouldn't be the first time he has lied to me.

 

To give you some background, he has a female coworker that I'm not particularly fond of for a number of reasons, but mostly because she has been catty to me every time I've met her. He lied to me about her before too. He told me they never interact or talk with each other, but one night after a few drinks, he let it slip that she comes in his office and they talk all the time.

 

So anyway, on Tuesday he didn't get home from work until around 7:00, which is kind of unusual for him. When I asked if he had worked late, he started stammering and pacing and acted nervous before telling me he had gotten caught up talking with his boss. I thought his behavior was a little odd and then remembered that, coincidentally, it was the last day the girl, the one he had lied to me about before, was going to be in the office (she's moving to a different location).

 

My problem isn't that he talks to this girl, I may not like her but he can talk to whoever he wants. My problem is that he has lied to me in the past about talking to her and I think there's a chance he might be doing it again. I don't think I'm completely off base letting this worry me since he has broken my trust before, but am I being paranoid? As much as I care for him, I don't want to be with someone who will lie to me. What do I do if it turns out he's lying again? He's out of town now so I haven't confronted him with any of this.

[pumpkinmoon]

What bothers me here is why he feels the need to lie to you about this when you have told him that he can be friends with whoever he wants.

[SDAL]

Yeah, I don't get it either. He knows I don't like her, but I've never told him he can't talk to her.

[turnera]

Then there is probably more to it than just talking.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I suspect they may be doing more than just talking...perhaps not physical cheating but at the very least an emotional connection. When a person has to lie about talking to a certain member of the opposite sex then guaranteed there is more going on than just friendly office chit chat.

[geekgirl4]

Yiiikes, his reactions (stammering, acting nervous, etc) has guilty written all over. The question is guilty over what? It could be minor, it could be major. Ask him what happened because he is clearly exhibiting all the signs of lying.

[SDAL]

Well, here's the other part. He used to come home talking about her a lot when he started working where he's at now. He talked about everyone in the office, but he would talk about her personal life. According to him, she was the only person that was nice to him when he first started so he knew her the best. Then after I met her and she was rude to me, I asked him to leave her out of our conversations because the frequency she would come up was making me uncomfortable. He claims that's the reason for not wanting to be upfront about the amount of time they spend talking.

 

I know her ex through my job, and he claims that she had said some really mean things about my boyfriend, yet she's super nice to his face. Yet another reason I don't like her.

[pumpkinmoon]

How was she rude to you when you met her? If it was blatantly rude then your boyfriend should distance himself from her anyway.