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It's Been a Month. Why Does It Still Hurt So Much?

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I don't understand this! I've been in no-contact for a month and a week, since the day I broke up with him (blocked him on Facebook, blocked his e-mail, changed cell phone etc). He cheated on me 4 months into our relationship, with his ex-girlfriend (he is bisexual and was in his first gay relationship with me). While we dated only 4 months, we really had a connection. When we broke up, I was completely devastated. I was told no-contact would help me to heal.


Except that it really hasn't. The only difference is that I don't cry on the outside anymore. Last night, I almost cried myself to sleep. Today, I haven't gotten out of bed. Since we broke up, I've thought about him 99% of the time. I try to work more often, but work's kinda boring (retail clothing store) and he pops into my head. I go to the gym, thoughts of him motivate me. I hang out with friends, they catch me staring into space in the middle of conversations.


Any short moments of clarity are completely negated by longer and more intense periods of heartache, drowsiness, depression, feelings of anger and hopelessness.


I don't want him back... I think. But I just don't know what to do. He's tried to contact me by calling my house a number of times (last Sunday, he called 6 times in a row), but each time I ignore it.


I'm having a relapse, and I guess I just need to rant. I also need some reassurance. Please. Help?

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It took me 2yr to move on from a guy... But you know what? I did! Some people just need more time to grieve, heal and then move forward... I don't think still feeling that way after 1 month is abnormal... especially if he keeps trying to keep himself in the picture...



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You will be fine. It takes time, but you will make it.

We have all been there, and we all moved on. Some just move on quicker than others. Take it as slow as you need or as quick as you need. You lost someone you loved naturally you can't expect to get over them within a month. Concentrate and work on yourself, spend time doing things you enjoy, see your friends and family and start working out.

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I agree, some people takes more time to heal than others,so just keep at it and unless he wants you back, stick to the No Contact rule. Remember, you're doing this to yourself. If you feel like you can be friends in the future, then do so, but NEVER while you still have feelings for him.


I'm on my first week of NC, but it's been almost two months since she broke up with me. You are not alone.Stay strong.

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