Does NC work for Guys getting Girls back?

[Robster]

Me (18 ) and my ex ( 17 ) broke up just over a week ago after a year of long distance (in which we'd met several times for a week each time and I want to know you guys opinion on my chances of getting her back.

 

We broke up because she seemed to be distancing herself from me and when we spoke about it she said she didn't want a relationship now after I was jealous about how she was acting to a close friend while I was there . We ended up talking the next few days and she said that she still loved me but not in that way but that she still cared a lot about me.

 

Then a few days later I went back to her on IM and said that I needed to stop talking to her for a while. She said that she would really miss me and she said a lot of things which made it seem like she wanted me to stay; like that that she couldn't handle the distance between us (we live 100 miles apart) but still did love me and she wanted me to stay and talk to her, she seemed to be using me as a way of getting over me, as if she was feeling guilty or something. She said she had been considering a possible rekindling of our relationship and I said that, if she does want to, she should let me know (and I would think about it); she agreed, but not to contact me unless it was something important.

 

Through out the time between breaking up I had a few little moments of over being over the top, but I didn't beg at any point, and in the last week of our relationship, which was rocky I was quite melo-dramatic. I have made one slip up of no contact and sent her a facebook message which said "finding it hard to cope" in the subject line and had nothing it in but a link to "Have Faith In Me" by A Day To Remember on youtube. Which was on Thursday after stopping talking to her last Tuesday, after this she either deleted me or blocked me on Facebook. She also sent a message through a friend on Saturday (a day after my 18th birthday) to wish me happy birthday.

 

I have maintained no contact since the 20th of April so it's only been 9 days. My ex is a very emotional person and I feel so bad not talking to her. I feel like I'm playing her and that isn't fair to her.

 

If it helps this is the last conversation we had before I went NC:

 

 

 

During this conversation I made it clear that I didn't want to hear from her, unless it was important, which makes the whole no contact thing slightly harder as I think she will always be wondering if I'm at a stage where she could talk to me about anything.

 

I think, even though it's been 9 days, that I'm starting to move on, the feelings recently have not been pain because of the end of the relationship or because of anything else. It's more that I just flat out miss her.

 

To this end I've re-added her to my msn. HOWEVER. I plan not to make contact. I'm not going to start a conversation, but it will show her that I am willing to talk and I'm on my way to feeling better about everything.

 

I'm beginning to doubt the NC rule. As the break up was mutual (I agreed with it because I didn't want to keep her in a relationship she wasn't sure about) and that we have no hard feelings for each other. She said that me not talking to her would be "forcing her to move on". It was also a Long Distance Relationship which may have some effect. I'm not planning on begging her or anything. I'm still kinda keeping the NC rule, but it shows that I am willing to talk if she wants to.

 

So what should I do forum? I love this girl and I would really like her back

[mmmd]

you're not getting her back. it's time to move on.

[TSandullo]

Does NC work for Guys getting Girls back?

 

Perhaps. But more importantly so, NC is an absolutely fantastic, tried-and-tested, magnificiently cheap (free in fact) and efficient way of getting yourself back after a breakup!

 

Trust me....trust us all. Move on. It works.

 

And as the weeks roll on following the initial stages of the breakup, only then will you be ready to systematically evaluate your chances of reconciliation.

 

Your journey begins here.

 

TS

[bri427]

This is a tough one since she intiated the break-up. BUT, i think ure dragging yourself along way too much and making it more complicated. Yeah let her know ure still willing to tlk but honestly she prolly would come to you if she really wanted to ya kno. Girls are pretty good bout sticking around and communicating. So as well as the idea for "talking" to her is...dont make a big deal of it. Dont plan too much out and dont by all means make a plan to plan lol. Take it day by day and see what happens in the future. Just remind her ure feelings are still there and ure willing to communicate or whatever the case may be if she is on the same page...leave it at that! Let her make the rest of the effort after u said whatever u wan2 say...good luck keep us posted! *bri*

[Pomus]

That conversation was hard to read.

 

Stand up for yourself. Not even that, just stop accepting an interaction where it is as if the central theme coming from both of you is about YOU losing HER or not. It's ridiculous!

 

I would have been incredulous when she said: "if and the likelihood of seeing you is less which means you'll have less of my interest...." Oh no you will have less of her interest! My goodness man, you must have been reading something else besides what I just read...

 

Please, do your best to pull your heart out of this one. This is just one giant ego boost for this girl.

[R_wants_R_back]

it worked for my friend... him and his girlfriend broke up for 6 months or more. he begged for about 2 months then cut her off completely. 4 months later they were out with mutual friends and some girl he had been fooling around with came up and kissed him, the ex flipped and realised she could be losing him forever and they got back together.... only been a short while and who knows it mightn't last but it does happen....

[hater13]

you just need to get to the point where you don't even give a **** if they come back, that's usually when they do lol

[intolerable]

Agree with TS. Get yourself back first before trying to get back others.