Breaking up from an outside view

[Welsh lad]

Ok so this girl im seeing at the minute broke up with her ex about 6 months ago (a relationship of around 5-6 years she got with him when she was 18ish)he was the 1 to end it then he decided he wanted her back which she said no, he hassled her lots to get back with him but she kept saying no, he threatend suicide etc so she had to go see him explain it was over, even had to get his mum invovled to sort him out.

He now lives about 1 hours drive from here im not sure if they speak that much but im sure they dotn see each other.

 

Now me and her are just going slow, enjoying each others company, we had a rough patch about 1 month ago sorted through that and since then its been beautiful,calling,texting,going for walks buying each other silly little gifts.

My plan all along has to just carry on like this until somethign happens if it ever does but whilst not being totoally exclusive if i met someone i clicked with who was willing to start something really serious if that makes sense?

 

I guess what im getting at is how long will something liek that take to get over? i mean shes had her chance to get back with him numerous times but has declined, her friends tell me they were never right for each other and he was horrible,arguing lots,never took her out etc.

 

A few years ago i was in a 2 year relationship and it took a good 6 months to get over it but once i met the next person i was ready for something.

 

I know theres no general rule here but anyone with similar experiences that could shed some light onto this?

[sidehop]

How do you really feel from the way she talks and the her actions towards you? Do you notice any sort of odd behavior on her part because of the breakup with her ex? Six months is a good time but like you said it could take someone longer to heal. If there's nothing to indicate that she's with you as a rebound, go with the flow. Have you two discussed being exclusive? Her intentions?

[redherring]

Different people take different amounts of time to get over different relationships.

You can never tell.

You got over a two year relationship in six months, and yet I broke up with my last proper boyfriend in July 2008 and am still not over it. (About a year ago we almost got back together and had sex a few times, there have been many setbacks.)

 

She will do it in her own time, you sound like you're doing the right thing by just taking things slowly and seeing where they go.

[Welsh lad]

previous to when she got with him we used to end up together most weekends, kissing etc, then she moved to uni and got with him.

 

We spent the night together at hers for the 1st time about 2 months ago i think it was a few days later she said she really enjoyed it but "wasnt quite there" yet and maybe its best to remain friends for time being. I agreed and said i understood totally which went down well but we continued as we were, texting calling every day, meeting up, kissing etc.

 

Im sure im not a rebound as like i said we have history, before she went to uni she told me she loved me but this was like 6/7 years ago and with her moving away and me enjoying being single nothing happened but we remained in touch.

 

I havent asked her intentions as i dont want to rock the boat really, im enjoying her company and we ge on really well. In my mind ive given myself a time frame of over summer, go with the flow like you say then maybe mention it to her?

[Welsh lad]

Different people take different amounts of time to get over different relationships.

You can never tell.

You got over a two year relationship in six months, and yet I broke up with my last proper boyfriend in July 2008 and am still not over it. (About a year ago we almost got back together and had sex a few times, there have been many setbacks.)

 

She will do it in her own time, you sound like you're doing the right thing by just taking things slowly and seeing where they go.

 

yea i feel like im doing the right thing i guess i just need to hear it off someone else to realsie this.

 

How long were you with your ex for if you dont mind me asking?