Should I go see him? Your thoughts on this?

[dazedconfused1607308164]

Well me and my ex were together for 4 years. No problems, cheating, anything like that on my end. We were each other's first love and had even talked about the future. We've been broke up a few months and had been in somewhat LC for most of the time after that. Then 16 days ago I decided it wasn't getting me anywhere and if he didn't want to be with me (he knew I wanted to get back together) then I had to go NC. I did so without telling him. I just kind of disappeared. 16 days go by without a word from him and without me contacting him and then he texts me today. He asks how I am, says he misses me and wants to see me. I told him there was no point in me seeing him because I needed to move on. He said there was a point. I asked what it was and he said "You'll see. Just trust me". I'm not sure what to do or what to think of this. What are your thoughts and what should I do next?

[Sanesoul]

Tell him to stop playing games and spit it out.

[turnera]

Make it someplace where you can get up and leave if he's BSing you.

[Mauxly]

What are your thoughts and what should I do next?

 

Go. Don't get your hopes up. DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM. But go see what he has to say...

[dazedconfused1607308164]

That's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid it is BS. He's done this type of stuff before but after not talking for so long I thought what if he actually means it this time? The other times it has led up to us sleeping together and that's not what I want right now.

[misssmithviii]

I'd go with a skeptical attitude, to a place where I could just leave too like turnera suggested. But be sure not to engage in any behavior you can't let go and be perfectly fine accepting as meaningless

[Mauxly]

Oh wait, he's done it before?

I rescind my answer. Don't go see him. Don't give him the time of day.

In my experience once you teach someone that they can play you, they will continue to play you (using ever more manipulative tactics as you wise up to them) until you cut them out of your life.

 

Mature and relationship worthy people know what they want and do not play games. By the way, as you train him to treat you like crap, you also train yourself to take it. So walk away.

[pumpkinmoon]

It may sound like he is messing you about, but in his mind, it might just be a nice romantic way of telling you he wants to give it another go.

 

I say go! And if it isn't what you want to hear, cut him off for good!

[dazedconfused1607308164]

Oh wait, he's done it before?

I rescind my answer. Don't go see him. Don't give him the time of day.

In my experience once you teach someone that they can play you, they will continue to play you (using ever more manipulative tactics as you wise up to them) until you cut them out of your life.

 

Mature and relationship worthy people know what they want and do not play games. By the way, as you train him to treat you like crap, you also train yourself to take it. So walk away.

 

I agree with you and that makes so much sense. Someone has actually told me this before and I never listened. It's very different hearing it from someone I don't know. I can't help but to feel curious even though I don't want to get my hopes up. I would like to see him to see if it changes anything, but if it ends up being meaningless I feel like it'll set me back several steps.

[DN]

I would not advise going without knowing what it is he wants. He's playing games and you don't have to participate.

[dazedconfused1607308164]

Do you think it's just about sex then? It just seems like he could get it from somewhere else. He's done this before where we go without talking, then he contacts me wanting to see me. I go see him and we sleep together then it starts over. There for a little while though we had actually talked about getting back together. It's like he's going back and forth. That's why I'm not sure if this time is the same or different.

[DN]

Well, if he does want to get back together then make it clear that sex isn't going to happen without a proper and sincere commitment first.

[fLuiD]

Agree to meet up, and don't show up.

[ebik]

i would suggest going, but with no expectations.. otherwise you may get your hopes up and that will lead to disappointment. If you dont go, curiosity will eat you up, so go to at least find out what he wants, but dont take any BS!

and yes, meet somewhere mutural so you can leave when you want.

but make sure he spits it out, and gets to the point! if he does want to get back with you, dont just give in straight away, even if that is what you want.. otherwise he will think he can get away with playing with your emtions the way he already has! make him work for it and prove to you why you should take him back!

if thats not what he wants at all, be prepared for that also.. it may be something else he wants to talk about, but either way, if he says anything you dont like or dont wana hear, walk away and never look back!

[Live-N-Learn]

I asked what it was and he said "You'll see. Just trust me". I'm not sure what to do or what to think of this. What are your thoughts and what should I do next?

 

It sounds as if he has pulled this before. When people say just trust me in the context he has said it. it is always playing games. Don't go

[TheJerseyKid]

Part of me wants to say don't go, but I know how powerful curiosity can be. I'd say go, go with no expectations, and go under the "now or never" motto. I'm not saying he's gotta agree to reconcile and make things better right there on spot. But you should treat the situation now as if it's on thin ice, and he needs to make up his mind. One can only do so much back and forth nonsense before getting old. Its not fair to you to have to ride this emotional rollercoaster day in and day out. When you are with someone, you shouldn't have to worry about these things. I'm a forgiving person, so I say give him one last shot, and if he screws up this time, he's toast.