jbrooklyn Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 My mindset is that I am not trying to get back together but I dont want to look all weak either. The stuff he has to get is a desk, chair, tv stands, tables. It is big stuff and he is bring his cousin with him to get it. I really dont know how I need to handle it really. Ive had time to thing about things. I really dont like the way he has handled me and I really dont have anything to say. I dont want to be friends. I just want him to get the stuff(it really belongs to his mom) and not leave a impression of hurt or wanting anything from him. I just need advice to make sure I dont do anything to disrespect myself really. Women can commet too. Link to comment
Diggitydave Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 Few things I'd try to have a friend over so he can't "pull you aside to talk" Keep yourself busy while he's doing it, don't be mean or aggressive as this will show he's gotten to you but show strength (even if you have to fake it) Make it seem like you trust him and don't pay too much attention. have your friend do the 'watchful eye'. You'll be ok and it'll be over before you know it. Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 I thought you had decided you were going to not be there, and just leave the door unlocked? Link to comment
jbrooklyn Posted April 28, 2010 Author Share Posted April 28, 2010 I thought you had decided you were going to not be there, and just leave the door unlocked? Well it is not my house. I am a realtor and his mom brought some things from my client so really I just cant let them be in there without me making sure he dont take anything else. I know. I have been trying to work this out in mymind for a while. Now that I have had time to understand some things. I really dont feel like I need to be acting cowardly but at the same time I dont want to seem like this is any attempt to get him back or whatever. I really need to move on with my life and I know that I am not completely over this situation. You see what I mean? Link to comment
jbrooklyn Posted April 28, 2010 Author Share Posted April 28, 2010 Few things I'd try to have a friend over so he can't "pull you aside to talk" Keep yourself busy while he's doing it, don't be mean or aggressive as this will show he's gotten to you but show strength (even if you have to fake it) Make it seem like you trust him and don't pay too much attention. have your friend do the 'watchful eye'. You'll be ok and it'll be over before you know it. Okay. He has a very big ego so he probably thinks I am trying to use this as a excuse to see him or connect with him. That is not the case. Im not completely over it but Im not trying to work this out either. This will probably be the last time I ever see him again. Link to comment
d_lilah Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 I know it will be hard, but try and act indifferent. Not friendly, but not brash. If he asks you a questions, give a short answer, or even a "mmmm." And try not to get into too much eye contact, that will mess your feelings up more. If his cousin is there, hopefully that should make things easier. He should be less likely to say anything that might provoke a response from you (if he is that type of person). Link to comment
jbrooklyn Posted April 28, 2010 Author Share Posted April 28, 2010 I know it will be hard, but try and act indifferent. Not friendly, but not brash. If he asks you a questions, give a short answer, or even a "mmmm." And try not to get into too much eye contact, that will mess your feelings up more. If his cousin is there, hopefully that should make things easier. He should be less likely to say anything that might provoke a response from you (if he is that type of person). Like I said, he has a BIG EGO! He is going to be thinking I want to talk it over with him or I want him or whatever. I am not trying to NONE of that. I just dont want to seem weak or trying to be nice or trying to do any damm thing. He can keep his ego. I working really hard on the opportunity of something better and a better life. I dont want to seem like I dont care about him anymore. I do but I done with his wishy washy self. I dont want to try anymore. Link to comment
jbrooklyn Posted April 28, 2010 Author Share Posted April 28, 2010 of course I will be looking good tho. A woman should always look her best in front of her ex even if she is moving on with her life....WOMAN LAW Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 Gotcha. So there is no one you can have there with you? I would just treat things business-like. Point out the furniture/equipment and get busy doing something else....if you act like it's not a big deal, it will convey as not a big deal. Link to comment
metafisics Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 Okay. He has a very big ego so he probably thinks I am trying to use this as a excuse to see him or connect with him. That is not the case. Im not completely over it but Im not trying to work this out either. This will probably be the last time I ever see him again. Maybe you can have a friend monitoring the whole move for you then and tell him you could do it yourself but have to be somewhere else. This way, you wont be there to feed his ego and he wont think you're not there because you're bitter. Link to comment
jbrooklyn Posted April 28, 2010 Author Share Posted April 28, 2010 Maybe you can have a friend monitoring the whole move for you then and tell him you could do it yourself but have to be somewhere else. This way, you wont be there to feed his ego and he wont think you're not there because you're bitter. Thats what Im talkin bout Meta. Im not bitter. Still hurt but not bitter. SMARTER for sure. I dont know if I can get a friend. My of my friends have jobs so probably not. I think Im gonna be business about it and be cute at the same time. I got a boob job in March and the girls are doing it out here. they are perkie perkie perkie. Right now I am meeting guys but Im not ready to give my time to anyone just yet. I do miss companionship some days but it is beginning to get fun reconnecting with myself and not worrying about someone else right now. But yeah I will try this as well. Idont want him to think Im bitter or things like that. Link to comment
jbrooklyn Posted April 28, 2010 Author Share Posted April 28, 2010 Gotcha. So there is no one you can have there with you? I would just treat things business-like. Point out the furniture/equipment and get busy doing something else....if you act like it's not a big deal, it will convey as not a big deal. I like this advice. No big deal attitude. Be like whatever. Like I said this will probably be the last time I see him Link to comment
Diggitydave Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 do exactly the opposite of what he expects. not with the intention of hurting him but making it known that you won't be moved by his ego. Link to comment
Diggitydave Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 secondly i also agree with others advice about not reeally showing you care, thats what i meant by contrast to his ego. Link to comment
ran81 Posted April 29, 2010 Share Posted April 29, 2010 My mindset is that I am not trying to get back together but I dont want to look all weak either. The stuff he has to get is a desk, chair, tv stands, tables. It is big stuff and he is bring his cousin with him to get it. I really dont know how I need to handle it really. Ive had time to thing about things. I really dont like the way he has handled me and I really dont have anything to say. I dont want to be friends. I just want him to get the stuff(it really belongs to his mom) and not leave a impression of hurt or wanting anything from him. I just need advice to make sure I dont do anything to disrespect myself really. Women can commet too. I was in a similar situation where I was the one who went to help my cousin unload some stuff at his ex girlfriend's house. Needless to say, it was very awkward for both my cousin and his ex. You could cut the tension with a knife. My cousin was the one who ended the relationship so obviously his ex wasn't too happy about it. She did make a few comments that were uncalled for that made it obvious. Link to comment
jbrooklyn Posted April 29, 2010 Author Share Posted April 29, 2010 I was in a similar situation where I was the one who went to help my cousin unload some stuff at his ex girlfriend's house. Needless to say, it was very awkward for both my cousin and his ex. You could cut the tension with a knife. My cousin was the one who ended the relationship so obviously his ex wasn't too happy about it. She did make a few comments that were uncalled for that made it obvious. Yeah, Im not going to say anything. Im going to let them in and not walk around with a attitude. I think it is so sad how people come to this point. Like I said, he has a big ego. I could talk to him but I dont want him to think I am trying to work something out with him cause I am not. We cant be friends. Link to comment
jbrooklyn Posted April 29, 2010 Author Share Posted April 29, 2010 I was in a similar situation where I was the one who went to help my cousin unload some stuff at his ex girlfriend's house. Needless to say, it was very awkward for both my cousin and his ex. You could cut the tension with a knife. My cousin was the one who ended the relationship so obviously his ex wasn't too happy about it. She did make a few comments that were uncalled for that made it obvious. I just wanted to give you the update It went well. We didnt speak to each other. I know he thought I would start a conversation but I didnt. He got the stuff and we both left at the same time. It was very awkward. I really hate it has come to this but I feel proud of myself for not trying anything. He has that ego to the point that he couldnt even speak or apologize for being so nasty towards me. I think it is sad. We will never see each other again. Link to comment
ran81 Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 I just wanted to give you the update It went well. We didnt speak to each other. I know he thought I would start a conversation but I didnt. He got the stuff and we both left at the same time. It was very awkward. I really hate it has come to this but I feel proud of myself for not trying anything. He has that ego to the point that he couldnt even speak or apologize for being so nasty towards me. I think it is sad. We will never see each other again. Great job! Must say you handled it better than my cousin's ex. Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Don't stress... let that encounter be the finality you needed to really know it's O-V-E-R. He doesn't deserve to take up any of your mind space. Link to comment
jbrooklyn Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 Don't stress... let that encounter be the finality you needed to really know it's O-V-E-R. He doesn't deserve to take up any of your mind space. Thank you freedom. I wish it was that easy. I thought about it last night. I know that I handled it right and everything but i feel sad inside about how things ended and how bad things are between us. Again I wont try to change or fix what has happen. I wont reach out. I just think it is so ugly. I guess when you have a heart, you know that you are better than that. Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Thank you freedom. I wish it was that easy. I thought about it last night. I know that I handled it right and everything but i feel sad inside about how things ended and how bad things are between us. Again I wont try to change or fix what has happen. I wont reach out. I just think it is so ugly. I guess when you have a heart, you know that you are better than that. That works in two different perspectives. You DO have a heart ARE better then that...that's why he is not worth your time anymore and you are moving on and hopefully to someone with similar traits as yours. Link to comment
jbrooklyn Posted April 30, 2010 Author Share Posted April 30, 2010 That works in two different perspectives. You DO have a heart ARE better then that...that's why he is not worth your time anymore and you are moving on and hopefully to someone with similar traits as yours. Freedom, Im sure you are right. Later on I know that I will fully agree with you as well. Right now I just think it sucks. It dont sit right inside of me. Why are some people so cold when it is not called for? I dont get it Link to comment
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