Girl likes me...but says "I don't know?"

[Zka0954]

Ok so i've been talking to this girl for awhile now, about a month. I'm a senior in highschool and she's a sophmore. I'm 17 and she's 16. I met her in Asian Culture Club haha and we started talking. I was interested in her and she seemed interested in me so about a week ago I asked her on a date for last sunday. She said ok. So sunday comes around and she cancels because her mom is a little too overprotetive and made her cancel for dumb reasons. She said she was sorry and she was telling me the night before that she was excited for the date (we were going to go to an amusment park). It was a legit cancel, i'm 100% sure it was. The only red flag I got was that she didn't offer an alternative day after the cancel but that could be attributed to many things. Depending on how the date went I was going to ask her out. Well since that never happened I decided to just ask her out at school.

 

I was getting pretty positive signals from her when we talked and her friends were telling my friends that she liked me and asked them when was I gonna ask her out. So today I finally grow the courage to separate her from her friends at lunch and ask her. Her answer was an "I don't know...", I reply "Is that a yes or a no?" she replies "That's an I don't know"...I replied "Oh ok that's fine...why not?"...she replied "I just don't know if I like you like that." So that was that. I told her it was fine and tried to shake it off like it was nothing.

 

She could tell I was faking it but I tried to reassure her it was fine. We all know that the "I don't know" answer is almost always a no. So I chalked it up as rejection and decided I had to move on. It didn't quite add up to me that she didn't like me but nothing I could do. So my best friend "M" knows her and her friends and ran into them on the way to the bus. She was telling them that I asked her out and they asked her what she said. When she told them that her answer was an "I don't know" they asked why she answered like that and she replied "I don't know....at first I really liked him...but then I realized that I didn't know him that well and that I needed to know him better in order to say yes but I didn't know how to say that to him. I think he took it as a no which it isn't...I don't know why I told him that though" She then told "M" to explain this to me so he did.

 

So now what to do? I've never been in a situation like this. Her friends still think she likes me....but idk what to do. I haven't really talked to her since I asked her out earlier...should I wait for her to come to me and make a move? what should I do?

[DanDee]

Just carry on talking and hang out together (without making any moves/asking her out) and see how things go. Look out for any signs of flirting.

 

Maybe ask again in another month?

[Zka0954]

Yeah that's the thing...I don't know what to do to avoid the friendzone and when/if I should ask her out again. For now I won't let me hopes get up though and continue to flirt with other girls as if she isn't even an option.

[DanDee]

A girl knows whether she wants a guy to be a friend or potentially more almost instantly. Time isn't really a factor here -- it only is a factor when the girl likes they guy but they don't ask her out. The guy gets seen as a friend.

 

She knows how you feel so just let her think about it. If you still feel the same way in a month then ask her again (final time). Just carry on with life and don't stress too much about it.

[mmmd]

don't listen to a girl's friends about whether she likes you or not.

[Jpo]

Just carry on talking and hang out together (without making any moves/asking her out) and see how things go. Look out for any signs of flirting.

 

Maybe ask again in another month?

 

This is probably the correct answer.

 

Although it would really bother me I think if a girl did that. That said, she is 16 and sounds like she may have zero dating experience, so it is probably best to just give her more time. And be sensitive to that.

 

^ And yes, like the poster above me, I would take what your friend said her friends said she said with a grain of salt.