kitty1223 Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 Hi Everyone, I have a quick question that I hope someone can answer for me. I am pretty sure I know the answer, but I just need some outside perspective. My boyfriend is 46 and his 30 year h.s. reunion (3 day event) is coming up this weekend. I am 31 and I do not feel it is my place to be there with him, although s.o's are welcome and he has invited me to these types of things in the past. My issue arises with the fact that he did not even extend an invitation, and more so, that it will take place within a few miles of where I live and he did not consider dropping by to see me 1) friday before the bar outing 2) saturday before the banquet dinner 3) sunday after bbq He has been stressed out lately due to closing on a home, and I have been very understanding of this, so when he couldn't make it last wednesday and then thursday, i understood and drove to him on friday spending the entire weekend helping him pack. I had to bring up whether he wanted to see each other at all this week, if that was his intention, ok i understood, just let me know so i can make my plans (which i already did for the weekend). My tendency in past relationships was to hold everything in, but this time i brought it up gently and openly, no anger, sarcasm, etc. hoping he would understand my need to know about this week. is that just needy? i don't know anymore. Does having a certain expectation for time with your s.o. automatically put me in the category? Anyway his response was wednesday is the only day i can see u. i have a work outing on thursday and he was hoping to come by but i did not want to change my plans (guilty of doing this for people in the past as well). At that point, i said ok, no problem. but it still bothers me that he couldn't at least say "i have my reunion this weekend. it's going to be a bunch of 50 year olds so it probably won't be fun for you, but i'll be in the neighborhood btwn events...maybe we can get together?" again, alot of things are at play right now. his house closing, me on the nicotine patch, my need to be treated well (as well as I treat him), and his tendency to talk alot about himself, his issues, his plans, etc etc. he calls me 20+ times a day in small spurts telling me every detail of his life, what's going on with the closing, 2 mins later he thinks of something he needs to do, and says "I'll call u back". 3 mins later, phone rings again. I feel bad and don't want to not be there for him so I answer every time. I never intitiate calls to him. The few times i have in our r'ship i felt he was busy, napping, irritated by something else, distracted. so i stopped. When i try to mention something about me, he goes silent, and says sorry i was doing something. I made an appt with a therapist (he doesn't know) for saturday. ive wanted to do this for a long time because i know its not just him. the whole reuinion weekend thing made me think. am i just expecting too much? at the same time, he expects so much out of me. it was a given that i pack with him last weekend. i was so exhausted 4 hrs in, i layed down for a minute and couldn't wake up. but the whole time i felt guilty that i wasn't doing what he expected out of me. Any advise would be so much appreciated. thank you for reading. E ](*,) Link to comment
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