My boyfriends female friend says she likes to

[GrowingUp]

So you purposefully went searching for something to make you feel bad?

 

Wow I didn't even see it like that, but I guess..yes I did go searching for pain. yikes

[hers]

So you realize now that all this is in your control then?everything you're feeling is all your responsibility. Not anyone else's. Certainly not your boyfriend's. I commend him for not giving up his friendship with this girl. B/c even if he did, you'd just find something (or someone) else to be upset about. And he probably knows that. So why would he give up a good friend?

 

Another scenario for you. Say you keep riding him about this. He's eventually gonna get so tired of it and need someone to talk to for comfort. Who do you think he'll go to? Her. And she'll comfort him and he'll see that, hey, she's so much more understanding than my girlfriend. And then feelings will develop. And he'll leave you for her. All b/c you couldn't keep yourself from getting upset over nothing. Don't create that situation. This is all in your control. All of it.

[abitbroken]

I really feel like he is myspace friends with this girl because she was a neighbor. At least that is what I think I read - she lived next door or hung out a lot with his next door neighbor. And they friended eachother on myspace. You know what - I vaguely keep in touch with a few of my old neighbors. Especially if we lived in a building or multifamily/divided home where we would run into eachother on the porch or would meet eachother's families or friends in the yard. She might not be his type or who you or he would have picked for a friend if you were to go in a line up of people and were forced to choose one as your new friend - but they were situational friends. people who went to the same class, or neighbors, or were in the army together are situational friends. There is a different term but I don't know it.

 

I really feel you have nothing to worry about, except your anxiety about this that is creating the real problem. This girl knows you don't like her so might feel odd around you so seems to act strange around you or tries to get under your skin.

 

As far as engaged but says she likes girls - either she is bisexual or just is saying that on her myspace page to ward spam from guys off. You never know.

 

I don't think you should forbid a friendship between two people that isnt really a big friendship. She probably calls him to tell him what so and so from the old building is doing, you never know.

[greywolf]

Just like I said in your other thread, don't you like sex too?

[faithful14]

If your boyfriend loves you, he won't cheat on you. This girl won't be a temptation to him at all. Are you just worried that deep down he MAY cheat on you?

[GrowingUp]

We talked about it and I feel much better now, I don't know I guess I understand a little better now. He is too great of a guy to let this get in between us, he literally would do anything for me. I think I am just trying to find a problem with us. I still need to get help with my jealousy though. Its not healthy. I can't even imagine him really cheating on me but the thought scares me a lot I guess.

[geekgirl4]

The thought of having someone you love cheating on you is terrifying, no doubt, and you are not alone in feeling that great fear. Everybody gets these fears. What many people do is remember how great their partner is and realize that it won't happen. While I think therapy is a great idea, you should try to remember every time you get these jealous thoughts, to remember how wonderful your partner is and that it won't happen. Bring him closer to you instead of having jealousy pushing him further away.